Lisa Marie Simpson is a fictional character in the animated television series “The Simpsons”. She is the middle child and only daughter of Homer and Marge Simpson, and the younger sister of Bart Simpson and older sister to Maggie Simpson.
Lisa is eight years old and is known for her intelligence, her liberal political views, her love of jazz and the blues, and her Buddhist faith. Unlike other members of her family, Lisa is the voice of reason in many of the crazy situations the Simpsons find themselves in. She often serves as the moral compass of the family.
Lisa Simpson Sayings
- “Being popular is the most important thing in the world!”
- “It’s not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV.”
- “I’m not a state, I’m a monster!”
- “I can’t believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!”
- “It’s naive to think you can change a person, except maybe that boy who works in the library.”
- “I am the Lizard Queen!”
- “Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.”
- “I mean, if you’re the police, who will police the police?”
- “You know, if we get through to just that one little girl, it’ll all be worth it!”
- “It’s not always easy being a vegetarian, Dad. I think I’ll go brush my teeth.”
- “If anyone wants me, I’ll be in my room.”
- “These are my only friends – grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal. And even he’s kissed more boys than I ever will.”
- “I don’t need love, there are books at the library.”
- “I’m no theologian. I don’t know who or what God is. All I know is he’s more powerful than Mom and Dad put together.”
- “I’m going to become a vegetarian” (which she says before refusing to eat the lamb chops Marge cooked)
- “Music is none of my business.”
- “As intelligence goes up, happiness goes down. See, I made a graph. I make a lot of graphs.”
- “You know, in a way, all Americans are immigrants. Except, of course Native Americans.”
- “Why would they come to our concert just to boo us?”
- “Dad, just for once don’t you want to try something new?”
Lisa Simpson Quotes
1. “Bart: You made all that money for sitting around and watching TV and eating food?
Lisa: There’s a lot more to it than that, Bart. I don’t just babysit. I sell peace of mind for a dollar an hour. Two dollars after 9 o’clock.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 8: My Sister, My Sitter
2. “Ralph: That valentine sure was funny!
Lisa: I’m glad you liked it.
Ralph: It says ‘choo-choo-choose me’ and there’s a picture of a train.
Lisa: Yeah, nice gag.
Ralph: So… do you like… stuff?” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: I Love Lisa
3. “Gym Teacher: Tell you what, Simpson: I won’t fail you if you join one of those peewee teams outside the school.
Lisa: You mean those leagues where parents push their kids into vicious competition to compensate for their own failed dreams of glory?” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Lisa on Ice
4. “Dad, women won’t like being shot in the face.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 10: The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace
5. “Lisa: Mom, Dad, this biography of Peter Ueberroth is only 99 cents. And I found the new Al Gore book.
Marge: ‘Sane Planning, Sensible Tomorrow.’
Lisa: Yeah, I hope it’s as exciting as his other book, ‘Rational Thinking, Reasonable Future.’” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy
6. “Lisa: You promised to take us to the lake.
Homer: I promise you kids lots of things. That’s what make me such a good father.
Lisa: Actually, keeping promises would make you a good father.
Homer: No that would make me a great father.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 10: When You Dish upon a Star
7.“Homer: Stupid Isotopes. Hurry up and lose so we can get outta here!
Lisa: Why do you hate the Isotopes so much, Dad?
Homer: Because I loved them once and they broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you, sweetie. Never love anything.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 10: Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken
8. “Bart: Lisa, certain difference, rivalries if you will, have come up between us. At first I thought we could talk it over like civilized people, but instead…I just ripped the head off Mr. Honeybunny!
Lisa: Bart that was your cherished childhood toy.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Lisa on Ice
9. “THAT’S IT! I can’t live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore. I am OUT OF HERE!” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 7: Lisa the Vegetarian
10. “Milhouse, knock him down if he’s in your way! Jimbo, Jimbo, go for the face! Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guard! Hack the bone! Hack the bone.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Lisa on Ice
11. “Lisa: This show is the biggest farce I ever saw!
Bart: What about the Emmys?
Lisa: I stand corrected.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 3: Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?
12. “Bart, having never received any words of encouragement myself, I’m not sure how they’re supposed to sound, but here goes: I believe in you.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Dead Putting Society
13. “Okay, I’m not going to give up. Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known… then went crazy as a loon.” Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 8: The Secret War of Lisa Simpson
14. “Lisa: You’re very lucky to have Mom.
Homer: That’s your advice? Go to bed!” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 8: A Milhouse Divided
15. “Lisa: I like school.
Homer: Well, why don’t you live in it then?
Lisa: I would if I could.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 7: King-Size Homer
16. “Ms. Hoover: First, we’re going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines.
Lisa: Isn’t that just pointless busywork?
Ms. Hoover: Bull’s-eye. Get cracking.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: I Love Lisa
17. “Lisa: Oh no, it’s Ralph! Just make up some excuse!
Homer: [answering the door] She’s in the can. Go away.
Ralph: Yes, sir! I’d do anything for Lisa.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: I Love Lisa
18. “Ms. Hoover: Good. Now sprinkle the sparkles onto the paper. Lisa, you’re not sprinkling your sparkles.
Lisa: Shove it!” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 3: Separate Vocations
19. “Dave Shutton: What are you using for bait?
Lisa: My brother is using worms, but I, who feel the tranquility far outweighs the actual catching of fish, am using nothing.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish
20. “Homer: Doughnut?
Lisa: No, thanks. Do you have any fruit?” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 7: Bart on the Road
21. “Lisa: I’ve got something for you.
Ralph: ‘Let’s be friends.’ It says ‘bee,’ and there’s a picture of a bee on it!” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: I Love Lisa
22. “Bart: Mom, am I dying?!
Marge: No.
Lisa: Is he, Mom? You can tell me.
Marge: No!” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 10: Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken
Lisa Simpson Quotes – Simpsons
23. “Lisa: I just think it’s a fantasy. If you believe in angels, why not sea monsters, unicorns or leprechauns?
Kent Brockman: Oh, that’s a bunch of baloney, Lisa. Everyone knows leprechauns are extinct.” – Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 9: Lisa the Skeptic
24. “That’s very nice, Dad, but it’s wrong for you to reward violent, competitive behavior. However, I will sit up front with you if it’s a fatherly gesture of love.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Lisa on Ice
25. “Bart, the only reason to apologize is if you look deep down inside yourself and you find a spot, something you wish wasn’t there, because you feel bad you hurt your sister’s feelings.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Bart vs. Thanksgiving
26. “Don’t you see? Getting what you want all time will ultimately leave you unfulfilled and joyless.” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Homer the Great
27. “Am I the only one who just wants to play hopscotch and bake cookies and watch The McLaughlin Group?” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 10: Lard of the Dance
28. “I just think you and Jessica are too different from each other to get along. She’s a sweet, kind reverend’s daughter and you’re the devil’s cabana boy” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Bart’s Girlfriend
29. “Lisa: Mr. Hutz, why are you burning all your personal papers?
Lionel Hutz: As of this moment, Lionel Hutz no longer exists. Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 5: Marge on the Lam
30. “Lisa: Ralph thinks I like him but I only gave him a valentine because I felt sorry for him.
Homer: Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?” — Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: I Love Lisa
