Brooklyn 99 Quotes : “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” is an American police procedural comedy television series that premiered on Fox in September 2013 and concluded on NBC in 2021. The series was created by Dan Goor and Michael Schur, who are also known for their work on the acclaimed series “Parks and Recreation.”
The series is set in the fictional 99th Precinct of the New York City Police Department in Brooklyn and follows a team of detectives headed by the eccentric and immature, but talented Detective Jake Peralta, played by Andy Samberg. The show opens with the arrival of a new commanding officer, Captain Raymond Holt (played by Andre Braugher), whose stern and no-nonsense demeanor clashes comically with Peralta’s laid-back attitude.
Brooklyn 99 Quotes
1- Amy Santiago : If I’m ever going to make captain, I need a good mentor; I need my rabbi.
2- Detective Jake Peralta: “Sarge, with all due respect, I am gonna completely ignore everything you just said.”
3- Jake Peralta : I appealed to their sense of teamwork and camaraderie with a rousing speech that would put Shakespeare to shame.
4- Terry: Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don’t give candy to a baby! They can’t brush their teeth!
5- Gina: “Every time you talk, I hear that sound that plays when Pac-Man dies.”
6- Jake Peralta : God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever.
7- Sergeant Terry Jeffords: “No waiting, just toasting. I want you to toast, now I wanna eat toast, gimme some toast!”
8- Jake Peralta : Well, frankly, I pity the lot of you. You look out there and see a problem, I look out there and see an opportunity. I’m gonna slide on that slippery floor all the way from Holt’s office to the elevator.
9- Gina Linetti: “The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts, so I’m incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.”
10- Peralta (as Fuzzy): I’ve been undercover so long, I’ve forgotten who I am. I have seen terrible things. I haven’t known the touch of a woman in many moons.
11- “Be myself, what kind of garbage advice is that?”
12- Gina Linetti: “Turn your greatest weakness into your greatest strength. Like Paris Hilton re her sex tape.”
13- Jake Peralta : “We’ve busted murderers; we’ve taken down cartels. But today we face the worst New York has to offer- the Fire Department.”
14- Gina Linetti: “You should make me your campaign manager. I was born for politics! I have great hair and I love lying.”
15- “I’d like your eight dollar-est bottle of wine please”
16- Jake Peralta : Aw, man. All the orange soda spilled out of my cereal.
17- Detective Charles Boyle: “That car is your superpower! Thor would never wager his hammer, and Neil Patrick Harris would never wager his showmanship!”
18- Sergeant Terry Jeffords: “I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster. Little fools.”
19- Charles Boyle : Oh, you’re useless! You’re completely useless! You are without a doubt the most incompetent detectives I’ve ever seen! And I’m including that bomb-sniffing dog, who humps all the bombs!
20- Peralta: I forgot to put up the posters and no one came, but don’t worry, because I donated five pints all by me-self.
21- “Eyes closed. Head first. Can’t lose”
BONUS QUOTES
Jake: ‘I’ve been undercover so long, I’ve forgotten who I am. I have seen terrible things. I haven’t known the touch of a woman in many moons.’
Michael: ‘Teenage romance, dying chick, oxygen mask. Checks all my boxes.’
Charles : ‘Yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.’
Jake: ‘These nups may be getting too toit.’
Terry: ‘Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don’t give candy to a baby! They can’t brush their teeth!’
Rosa: ‘Next time I catch him shaving I’m gonna punch him so hard in the mouth that he bites his own heart.’
Rosa: “‘You’re under arrest for ruining something perfect!'”
