Looking for the best Sanford and Son quotes? Look no further! We’ve curated a list of the top 22 quotes from the iconic TV show, Sanford and Son. From hilarious one-liners to memorable exchanges, these quotes are bound to make you laugh and reminisce about the beloved characters, Fred G. Sanford and his son, Lamont. Get ready to relive the laughter and wit of this classic sitcom with our handpicked selection of the best Sanford and Son quotes.
Sanford and Son Tv Show Quotes
Fred Sanford: “Telling Esther there’s no God is like telling Jimmy Carter there’s no more toothpaste.”
Grady Wilson: “Don’t you go in my room by mistake, cause if I pull back them covers and see you I might have a stroke and die.”
Fred G. Sanford: ” Let me tell you somethin’, Esther. Every time I see you it makes me wish birth control was retroactive.”
Fred Sanford: “My my poor couch. I bet you never been sat on by a buffalo!”
Aunt Esther Anderson: “Woodrow you came here with teeth, do you want to leave here with teeth”
Lamont Sanford: “Grady, you’re gonna be the first person in history to get busted for molesting a vegetable.”
Fred G. Sanford: “I’ve come a long way from St. Louie, but not far enough. B.B. King is gonna kill me!”
Fred G. Sanford: “Eathquakes on the coast, 120-degree temperatures on the desert; they oughtta change the name of California to Shake n’ Bake, USA!”
Fred Sanford: “I ain’t afraid to give you one across the lips.”
Uncle Woodrow ‘Woody’ Anderson: “Listen to this, Fred: “Roses are red / mustards are green / come over for dinner / and we’ll lick our plates clean.””
Fred G. Sanford: ” I can see my tombstone: “Fred Sanford lies here. 1908 to 1975. Died from an overdose of ugly.””
Fred Sanford: “Polly-Esther – that’s you. Half woman, half parrot!”
Fred G. Sanford: “Freddy’s life is goin’ down the drain / God, pull out the stopper / stole money from my only son / for these lousy Whopper Choppers!”
Fred Sanford: “She’s a lush and you a dummy. My granbaby will be a lummy”
Fred Sanford: ” There’s got to be some mistake. This is not my Lena, this is someone’s hyena.”
Fred Sanford: “I’m 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I’d settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.”
Fred Sanford: “For $500 dollars, I can turn Yewell Gibbons into a meatloaf freak!”
Aunt Esther: “You just suck on that sucker, sucka.”
Fred Sanford: “Tell him in Puerto Rican – “Goat-o, get out of el house-o.””
Lamont Sanford: “When a person has three heart attacks, he’s dead. You had fifteen.”
Fred Sanford: “My name’s Fred Sanford. That’s S-A-N-F-O-R-D period.”
Fred Sanford: “You just dumb, son. You just dumb.”
