David Brent Quotes: Hello The Office tv show fans we have collected amazing Quotes from David Brent, hope you like it, please comment your quote
1- “If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with the rain. Do you know which ‘philosopher’ said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she’s just a pair of tits.” -David Brent
2- “What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter-time he’s got something to eat and he won’t die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.” -David Brent Quotes
3- “I can wake up one morning and go, ‘I don’t feel like working today. Can I stay in bed?’ ‘You’d better ask the boss.’ ‘David, can I stay in bed?’ ‘Yes, David.’ Both me. Not me in bed with another bloke called David.” -David Brent
4- “There may be no ‘I’ in team but there’s a ‘ME’ if you look hard enough.” -David Brent
5- “Who says famine has to be depressing?” -David Brent
6- “Statistics are like a lamp post to a drunken man, more for leaning on than illumination.” -David Brent
7- “I’d push the brother out of the room, bend them all over, do the drummer, the lead singer, and that one who plays violin.” -David Brent
8- “Never do today that which will become someone else’s responsibility tomorrow.” -David Brent
9- “I know an alcoholic and it’s no laughing matter – particularly for his wife. She’s got alopecia, so not a happy home life.” -David Brent
10- “Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability.” -David Brent
11- “You will never work in a place like this again. It’s brilliant. Fact. And you’ll never have another boss like me, someone who’s basically a chilled-out entertainer.” -David Brent
12- “Make good use of your cylindrical filing unit, the one you mainly keep under your desk.” -David Brent
13- “Some straight women like it the wrong way. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay. One in 10, apparently. That seems a bit high. You might be. If you are, good luck to you. Just make sure it’s legal and be safe.” -David Brent
14- “If you’re gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes, make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.” -David Brent
15- “An amateur will stitch up a professional.” -David Brent
16- “If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven’t understood the seriousness of the situation.” -David Brent
17- “A sergeant major spends his time training his men to be killers. He doesn’t polish his own boots. He probably does polish his own boots, but, you know, that doesn’t mean I have to do my own filing.” -David Brent
18- “You have to be 100% behind someone before you can stab them in the back.” -David Brent
19- “When people say to me: would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss? My answer’s always the same, to me, they’re not mutually exclusive.” -David Brent
20- “Avoid employing unlucky people. Throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.” -David Brent
21- “If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.” -David Brent
22- “A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone else’s?” -David Brent
23- “If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence that you ever tried.” -David Brent
24- “Accept that some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue.” -David Brent
25- “You think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s only some bugger with a torch bringing you more work.” -David Brent
26- “If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.” -David Brent
27- “If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.” -David Brent
28- “Live fast, die old.” -David Brent
29- “Eagles may soar high, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.” -David Brent
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