Discover the funniest and most memorable Stewie Griffin quotes from the hit television show Family Guy. Immerse yourself in the witty and sarcastic world of this beloved character as we present the top 31 quotes that will have you laughing out loud. From his iconic one-liners to his clever observations, Stewie’s humor knows no bounds. Get ready for a hilarious journey through the mind of the youngest member of the Griffin family.
Family Guy Stewie Griffin Quotes
“You know mother, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. Your life, however, is more like a box of active grenades!” – Stewie Griffin
“For the love of God, shake me! Shake me like a British nanny!” – Stewie Griffin
“Take your stinkin’ paws off me you damn dirty dog” – Stewie Griffin
“God! Do you people speak every language except english? Yo quiero pancakes! Done ma pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes!” – Stewie Griffin
“Hello, I’m Stewie. Big fan” – Stewie Griffin
“I haven’t seen one female baby since we got here. This place is a sausage fest.” – Stewie Griffin
“Okay, whip them out woman! It’s time for the afternoon meal!” – Stewie Griffin
“Oh God! Oh it is so hard to find funny women, and you are hilarious…aahw, you’re like a female Bonnie Hunt.” – Stewie Griffin
“You’ve been making really creepy eye contact with me all morning, and I want it to stop right now.” – Stewie Griffin
“A perfectly normal little boy! Who just happens to be a transvestite! Which … begins with the letter T” – Stewie Griffin
“Damn you ice cream, come to my mouth! How dare you disobey me!” – Stewie Griffin
“I like what comes out of Lois’ breasts better, but I like this too.” – Stewie Griffin
“if anyone’s gonna take that bitch down, it’s gonna be me” – Stewie Griffin
“Good lord! Am I a… porn baby?!”– Stewie Griffin
“I can’t deal with anything until after I’ve had my after-nap coffee.” – Stewie Griffin
“Let’s go find a big, black, sassy, nurse. There’s always one” – Stewie Griffin
“Every hot girl who can aim a camera thinks she’s a photographer. Ooh, you took a black and white picture of a lawn chair and its shadow. You must be so brooding and deep.” – Stewie Griffin
“Huh, that’s weird. Black guys usually don’t promote themselves” – Stewie Griffin
“I don’t understand why, if we’re a galaxy far far away, we still have to change in Atlanta.” – Stewie Griffin
“Hey anything is possible right? I once found the Batcave.” – Stewie Griffin
“You have a pop-up version of the Unabomber’s Manifesto?” – Stewie Griffin
“What kind of jerk alters time and then falls asleep?” – Stewie Griffin
“What are you looking at? You gonna propose?” – Stewie Griffin
“May every person that laughs at your sophmoric effort be a reminder of your eternal mediocrity and pierce your heart like a knife!” – Stewie Griffin
“It says here there’s a continental breakfast. Oh…the continent is Africa.” – Stewie Griffin
“I feel like once I get them on a schedule, every thing will be fine!” – Stewie Griffin
“Stand up is so 20 years ago. Twitter’s only three years ago” – Stewie Griffin
“It’s so salty and chunky where you don’t want it to be.” – Stewie Griffin
“I’m Brian. I like garbage peanut butter, and I wear my “I voted” sticker for a year and a half.” – Stewie Griffin
“Amazing. One second of a stranger’s voice on a phone, and you’ve got full Bollywood.” – Stewie Griffin
“Go… away… fat man” – Stewie Griffin
“Damn you vile woman, you’ve impeded my work since the day I escaped your vile womb.”– Stewie Griffin
