Looking for the best quotes from That 70s Show? Look no further! Discover the top 70 quotes from this iconic TV series that will transport you back to the groovy era. From witty one-liners to hilarious exchanges, these quotes capture the essence of the show’s unforgettable characters and their adventures. Whether you’re a fan or a newcomer, these quotes are sure to make you laugh, reminisce, and appreciate the timeless humor of That 70s Show. Check out our list of the 70 Best That 70s Show Quotes now!
That 70s Show quotes
Fez: “This suit is for leisure. But many times I wear it to get down to business.”
Fez: “Who knew, that takes only one beer to turn a cheerleader into a whore”
Red Forman: “Oh, would you stop! Luke Skywalker this, Luke Skywalker that, I’m sick and tired of hearing about that little fruit!”
Eric Forman: “I know that when I go to the hospital, I like to not die.”
Kitty Forman: “Why don’t you try some of that forgiveness that Jesus talked so much about so much?”
Eric Forman: “Man, and I not only saw boobs, but I saw boobs in space! Yeah, space boobs”
Eric Forman: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Kelso nailed your sister!”
Red Forman: “We’re all gonna go to church and we’re gonna have a damn nice Sunday.”
Fez: “I’m sorry, but a man in his sexual prime has needs. And you are lucky to have such a stallion at your disposal.”
Red Forman: “You morons just hung a vacancy sign on your asses and my foot’s looking for a room”
Red Forman: “You are about to read a book my foot wrote.. It’s called on the road to in your ass..”
Red Forman: “Once again, an open bar spells disaster for the Foreman family.”
Jackie Burkhart: “Everybody wants their first make-out to be special, in some place romantic like Ireland or Disney World.”
Red Forman: “Women are never done with it, son. Anything wrong you do, they sit on it for 25 years, like an egg. And then it hatches – on Superbowl Sunday.”
Michael Kelso: “If you really do love her, there’s only one thing to do, man. You gotta dump her and live free.”
Michael Kelso: “I never realized how much plumbing girls had down there… Like, there’s this diagram and it’s like a map of Six Flags”
Michael Kelso: “Ooooh! Burn! That’s a burn about a burn! That’s a 2nd degree burn!”
Leo : “I don’t like bowling, man. You throw the ball down there and it keeps coming back… It’s spooky, man”
Fez: “Oh please, I’m a hot looking, smooth talkin’, frisky ass, son of a bitch.”
Michael Kelso: “Well, I was thinking that if a party with 10 people was fun, then a party with 30 people would be twice as much fun!”
Kitty Forman: “A car is not a bedroom on wheels.”
Kitty Forman: “All families are embarrassing. If they aren’t embarrassing they’re dead”
Red Forman: “Life is too short to spend it with people who annoy you”
Red Forman: “When my time comes I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn’t like me can kiss my ass.”
Red Forman: “Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other”
Jackie: “The beautiful cannot be held responsible for the havoc our looks create. “
Red Forman: “Son, you don’t have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumbass.”
Red Forman: “If I were a bird, I’d fly into a ceiling fan.”
Kelso: “You have the right to remain BURNED!”
Kitty Forman: “You kids switch partners more than square dancers!”
Hyde: “You don’t burn someone who’s already crying!”
Leo: “I love it here. You can sing as loud as you want. That dude wails away on the organ. That dude up there tells stories. It’s almost a religious experience!”
Eric: “Holy mother of Skywalker!”
Kelso : “Cartoons make me horny!… Oh, and food”
Fez: “Cake’s good, but you can not have sex with cake”
Hyde: “Jackie, get in the car, we’re goin’ on a freakin’ date!”
Hyde: “I’m running a dojo of coolness”
Donna Pinciotti: “So, my parents are, like, fighting all the time, and they want me to choose sides. But I can’t, because they’re both idiots.”
Eric Forman: “I’m not that drunk… I just can’t walk or see… Man, that was a great party.”
Michael Kelso: “Well I was thinking, if a party of 10 would be fun, then a party of 30 would be twice as fun!!!”
Michael Kelso: “BURN!”
Kitty: “Secrets cause cancer”
Fez: “My point is…… you are a whore”
Kitty Forman: “I can’t believe that any of you can walk into a church without bursting into flames.”
Fez: “I like my women like I like my wine… red and full of alcohol. “
Steven Hyde: “The three true branches of the government are: military, corporate, and Hollywood.”
Kitty Forman: “We keep our Christmas decorations down there. Baby Jesus was watching.”
Fez: “Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other”
Kelso : “Just once, I want the right thing and the topless thing to be the same thing!”
Hyde: “If you don’t get caught everything’s legal”
Jackie Burkhart: “I mean, it’s simple. The woman just needs to be a cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room, and an acrobat in the bedroom. And I can hire a cook and a maid.”
Fez: “She can solve my mystery any day… By the way the mystery is my pants”
Fez: “Can we please talk about how hungry and horny I am? I wish I had a lady made of pizza. Or a pizza made of boobs!”
Red Forman: “That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity. “
Eric Forman: “God, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant B*tch?”
Leo: “See beer is evil. I don’t want to say I told you so, but I will say this I told you so man”
Fez: “I wish I had a lady made of pizza… or a pizza made of boobs!!”
Jackie : “I’m a thin girl with fat girls problems”
Donna Pinciotti: “Wow! It’s every little girl’s dream to get married out of spite!”
Eric Forman: “Donna told me she loved me, and then I told her I loved cake. “
Red: “When I die, I want to be buried face down, so that way, whoever doesn’t like me can kiss my ass!”
