Discover 220 hilarious and memorable quotes from Jack Donaghy, the iconic character from the TV show “30 Rock.” Dive into the wit and wisdom of this beloved character with the best quotes compiled for your enjoyment.
Jenna Maroney Quotes – 30 Rock
Jack Donaghy Quotes
1- “Playing psychosexual mind games IS our normal, Lemon.” – Jack Donaghy
2- “She has the brain of a man, and the ass of a French teenager.” – Jack Donaghy
3- “Check out Kim Jong Un’s pants. Where’s the flood?” – Jack Donaghy
4- “So, how was your hiatus? Start with what puzzles you did.” – Jack Donaghy
5- “That’s the sound of Honey Boo Boos piling up on your Tivo.” – Jack Donaghy
6- “Like a silver back gorilla or Mitt Romney’s grandfather, I require more than one woman to…” – Jack Donaghy
7- “There are no bad ideas Lemon, only great ideas that go horribly wrong.” – Jack Donaghy
8- “A room full of rich people can… change the world.” – Jack Donaghy
9- “We have to spend all of our wonderful money and help my hair mentor Mitt Romney become the 11th legitimate President of the United States.” – Jack Donaghy
10- “She’s aging, mean, and rich. That sounds Republican to me.” – Jack Donaghy
11- “Let me tell you who we have. Craig T. Nelson, Chuck Norris, and Charlton Heston’s skull. You’d be the only cool Republican.” – Jack Donaghy
12- “I coined the phrase “You wish, pal!”” – Jack Donaghy
13- “The woman’s constant disapproval of me will keep her alive… forever.” – Jack Donaghy
14- “My grandfather’s purple heart…it’s terrible what alcoholism can do to the body.” – Jack Donaghy
15- “I love my mother, Lemon, obviously because of Stockholm Syndrome.” – Jack Donaghy
16- “The only way you’re like Socrates is that you have the body hair of a Greek man.” – Jack Donaghy
17- “I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.” – Jack Donaghy
18- “You are both a disgrace to the Donaghy name!” – Jack Donaghy
19- “Sure… I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says “healthy body image” on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for… a week.” – Jack Donaghy
20- “If you were any other woman on Earth, I would be turned on right now.” – Jack Donaghy
21- “All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show is incorporate positive mentions, or ‘POS-MENS’ of GE products into your program. For example you could write an episode where one of your character purchases, and is satisfied with one of GE’s direct current drilling motors for off-shore or land-based projects.” – Jack Donaghy
22- “Don’t gloat, it makes you seem man-ish.” – Jack Donaghy
23- “It’s after six. What am I, a farmer?” – Jack Donaghy
24- “I bow hunt polar bear. I once drove a rental car into the Hudson to practice escaping. And it’s not the public speaking, there’s just something about performing I can’t wrap my brain around. All this creative crap. Acting. Ahhh. I’ve never been able to do it. Never.” – Jack Donaghy
25- “Business doesn’t get me down, business gets me off.” – Jack Donaghy
26- “That’s right! He’s the Rat King. And there’s only one way to break up with a rat, you have to cut him off completely.” – Jack Donaghy
27- “Oh no, no. GE could never make something so… unique. We’ll have to pass this off to one of our subsidiaries. You see, GE owns KitchenAll of Colorado, which in turn owns JMI of Stamford which is a majority shareholder of Pokerfastlane.com which recently acquired the Sheinhardt Wig Company which owns NBC outright. NBC owns Winnipeg Iron Works which owns the AHP Chanagi Party Meats company of Pyongyang, North Korea… and they will make the Meat Machine.” – Jack Donaghy
28- “You have to stuff your heart with steel wool and tin foil. You must be ruthless, you must be absolute. Remember always you are the exterminator, say it!” – Jack Donaghy
29- “That’s how the “Bottoms-Up” program works. I’m going to be your bottom, Kenneth, and I want you to ride me as hard as you can.” – Jack Donaghy
30- “Gosh, I hope you got a picture of that with a camera on your beeper.” – Jack Donaghy
31- “I want full stake in the Arby’s franchise we bought outside of Telluride.” – Jack Donaghy
32- “Leo’s an excellent physician and a pretty good dentist.” – Jack Donaghy
33- “Those are the stupidest fist names I’ve ever heard.” – Jack Donaghy
34- “It’s called the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine. It’s a dual-press grill.” – Jack Donaghy
35- “Say the right things, ask him the right questions. I’m sure he could open some doors for you.” – Jack Donaghy
36- “When I was your age, I was putting myself through college in Boston paddling swan boats for the tourists.” – Jack Donaghy
37- “Devon, I’m straighter than you are gay, and I leave particles of guys like you in my wind. I’m not afraid of you.” – Jack Donaghy
38- “Just to know she’s filled with bile over me warms my heart.” – Jack Donaghy
39- “I’m not a creative type like you, with your work sneakers and left-handedness.” – Jack Donaghy
40- “I had “lunch” with Martha Stewart and “dinner” with her daughter Alexis.” – Jack Donaghy
41- “That doesn’t mean she’s not a wonderful, caring MILF.” – Jack Donaghy
42- “I won’t. I’m going to board it up, open all of the windows and let nature have at it.” – Jack Donaghy
43- “25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.” – Jack Donaghy
44- “Look how Greenzo’s testing! They love him in every demographic – colored people, broads, fairies, commies. Gosh we gotta update these forms.” – Jack Donaghy
45- “Lemon, women your age are more likely to get mauled at the zoo than get married.” – Jack Donaghy
46- “God, I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such ridiculous things.” – Jack Donaghy
47- “Every time I meet a new person I figure out how I’ll fight them. You have a gimpy right knee, right?” – Jack Donaghy
48- “Be with me, C.C. We’ll ignore our differences ’til the sex goes bad then… we’ll walk away bitter and angry.” – Jack Donaghy
49- “I think Angie is right-handed so you have to work her clockwise.” – Jack Donaghy
50- “Lemon, what happened? Did you take an Ambien with your Franzia and sleep walk here?” – Jack Donaghy
51- “Never go with a hippie to a second location.” – Jack Donaghy
52- “She is my lover. That’s right. She’s my liberal, hippy-dippy mama; my groovy chick; my old lady. She was our chief adversary during the Sheinhardt Wig hearings. She wants to tax us all to death and make it legal for a man to marry his own dog. But I think what we have is special, and I’m proud of her. And I’m not going to hide it any longer. I’m Jack Donaghy, damn it! And this is my woman.” – Jack Donaghy
53- “She needs to lose thirty pounds or gain sixty. Anything in between has no place on television.” – Jack Donaghy
54- “Oh, in his mind Reagan is still president. You lucky bastard!” – Jack Donaghy
55- “You mean the cult that was invented by Stan Lee?” – Jack Donaghy
56- “I feel like I’m back in that boiler room; making little piles of sawdust while Gilly plays with himself in the corner…” – Jack Donaghy
57- “You got that right, Tre. You know it’s too bad you didn’t know Howard Cossell when you were growing up because I had that one in my pocket the whole time.” – Jack Donaghy
58- “The stutter got so bad I was taken out of my grade and put in the special class, held in the boiler room. My only other classmate was named Gilly. He’d fallen though the ice as a child and was technically dead for 57 minutes. They taught us to sweep sawdust so we could find work at a mill. Of course I overcame the stutter in three languages. On to Princeton, Harvard, the top of the business world. I thought I blocked this out, but a thing like this brings back emotions.” – Jack Donaghy
59- “Banks is no slouch. He pioneered the concept of ten-second Internet sitcoms.” – Jack Donaghy
60- “Deborah is testing off the charts in the most profitable demographics: Soccer moms, NASCAR dads, white collar pervs and the obese.” – Jack Donaghy
61- “Hey, Devin, you’d better watch out. Kenneth may take your job one day.” – Jack Donaghy
62- “I even stopped to catch a snowflake with my tongue, but apparently that’s some signal in Chelsea.” – Jack Donaghy
63- “Now, there are 140 people on this show, so go out there and make 126 people very happy.” – Jack Donaghy
64- “No no. Pills. Nobody flies without medication anymore. Why shouldn’t you enjoy the same luxuries as a dog?” – Jack Donaghy
65- “Now as you may have read in Robert Parker’s wine newsletter, “Donaghy Estates tastes like Satan’s urine after a hefty portion of asparagus.”” – Jack Donaghy
66- “Show her the ugly duckling has turned into a vaguely ethnic swan.” – Jack Donaghy
67- “No, no. That’s his name. Steven Black… good family. Remarkable people, the Blacks, musical, very athletic, not very good swimmers. Again I’m talking about the family. Black is African-American, though.” – Jack Donaghy
68- “Rich fifty is middle class thirty-eight.” – Jack Donaghy
69- “This ought to prove my mother wrong, saying Donaghy is Gaelic for failure. What the hell does she know, she’s a Murphy; Bunch of mud farmers and sheep rapists.” – Jack Donaghy
70- “I do, but we had a falling out over the Jerry Garcia stamp. If I wanted to lick a hippie, I’d return Joan Baez’s phone calls.” – Jack Donaghy
71- “Lesson number one: you don’t need anyone. Sure, Josh tests well with female viewers 12 to 24, which is important to advertisers because young women will buy just about anything.” – Jack Donaghy
72- “Way to tell me something I already knew. What are you, The Huffington Post?” – Jack Donaghy
73- “Lemon, I would like to teach you something. I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap.” – Jack Donaghy
74- “It’s winning time, you magnificent son of a bitch!” – Jack Donaghy
75- “The crab is getting aroused. Shut it down. Shut it down!” – Jack Donaghy
76- “I give you a simple management suggestion in a professional context, and I get back the second half of a Judy Blume novel.” – Jack Donaghy
77- “Good lord! The worm … that’s so degrading. Are its origins German?” – Jack Donaghy
78- “I believe we were brought together by the most successful capitalist enterprise in the history of the world. Despite the McLean Deluxe and the MickeyMoo.” – Jack Donaghy
79- “He is not your friend, he’s your opponent. He’s going to try to grab all the marbles and it’s our job to hide them.” – Jack Donaghy
80- “I may have sodomized our former vice president while under the influence of some weapons grade narcotics. Oh, it feels good to say that one out loud actually. That one was weighing on me.” – Jack Donaghy
81- “Gary’s dead. I’m Jack Donaghy. New VP of development for NBC/GE/Universal/Kmart.” – Jack Donaghy
82- “I once declared ‘I am God’ during a deposition.” – Jack Donaghy
83- “Well, I guess you must be embarrassed if you’re hiding in the storage closet.” – Jack Donaghy
84- “I have faith… in things that I can buy and sell and deregulate. Capitalism is my religion.” – Jack Donaghy
85- “The Italians have a saying, Lemon. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And although they’ve never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct. In five years we’ll all either be working for him… or dead by his hand.” – Jack Donaghy
86- “Hallowed be my reservation. If you are able to hold my table … Have them delay our heavenly dessert, and forgive us our lateness, as we forgive those who cause us to be late…” – Jack Donaghy
87- “You are a puzzle, Kenneth Ellen, and I’m going to solve you. Yes I am.” – Jack Donaghy
88- “Elisa? I was about to do the whole run to the airport thing, like Ross did on Friends and Liz Lemon did in real life.” – Jack Donaghy
89- “I’ll be here everyday. Soaking it up.” – Jack Donaghy
90- “Look at this guy… he used to be a man once.” – Jack Donaghy
91- “Six Sigma says that a manager must understand every aspect of the business that he or she oversees.” – Jack Donaghy
92- “She keeps confusing me with this ridiculous notion that sex and love are somehow connected.” – Jack Donaghy
93- “I watched an American Masters last night about Baryshnikov… I picked up a few things.” – Jack Donaghy
94- “He’d show up every now and then to impregnate my mother and punch out the umpires in Little League.” – Jack Donaghy
95- “In Gaelic, Donaghy means ‘dung basket.'” – Jack Donaghy
96- “Passing out and cursing on St. Patrick’s Day. Is nothing sacred anymore?” – Jack Donaghy
97- “With no TGS I see you… self-publishing your novel and moving back in with your parents.” – Jack Donaghy
98- “Most of that time has been spent trying to come up with a hip, edgy name that would appeal to the marketing holy trinity: college students, the morbidly obese, and homosexuals.” – Jack Donaghy
99- “Tracy and I have become quite close. Look, we got BFF bracelets.” – Jack Donaghy
100- I’m going to find out what was in the box, buy it with money, and it’s going to make me happy. And if that doesn’t work, I’m going to Benjamin Button myself.” – Jack Donaghy
101- “The closest I came to vomiting tonight is when I saw Ann Coulter’s shoulder blades.” – Jack Donaghy
102- “His life is like Enron, circa 1999. So wild.” – Jack Donaghy
103- “I’m aware of it. I have a Google news alert for the phrase ‘Tracy Jordan ridiculous disaster.” – Jack Donaghy
104- “Have you ever been to Florida? It’s a criminal population. It’s America’s Australia.” – Jack Donaghy
105- “Go to Disneyland, ride in an airplane, kiss Peggy Fleming, live in a house with stairs, beat up a Russian, hit mom with a car.” – Jack Donaghy
106- “It’s the biggest regret of my life, Lemon. And I once made love to Kathy Hilton.” – Jack Donaghy
107- “Enjoy your decorative air holders, you deserved them.” – Jack Donaghy
108- “What is this, the Italian parliament. No, thank you?” – Jack Donaghy
109- “The days of your wild coke parties are over.” – Jack Donaghy
110- “I know. My credit card company called to confirm my purchase of the book “Intercourse After Hip Surgery.”” – Jack Donaghy
111- “You’ll do fine as long as you follow my Three Ds: Discretion, Docility, and Don’t Use My Bathroom.” – Jack Donaghy
112- “I’m sorry, did you just snort at our House majority leader?” – Jack Donaghy
113- “Sometimes sexual bartering works. Salome, Mata Hari, Deborah Norville.” – Jack Donaghy
114- “You know what family means to me Lemon? Resentment, guilt, anger, Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights.” – Jack Donaghy
115- “Your writer’s room is now the headquarters for Telemundo’s coverage of World Cup soccer qualifying.” – Jack Donaghy
116- “Professor Milton Green, who’s working on a three volume biography of Jimmy Carter, and if I give him a kidney he might, just might, live long enough to finish it.” – Jack Donaghy
117- “You being dead is the best thing that ever happened to this movie. Jenna, I wanna Tupac you.” – Jack Donaghy
118- “Since Giuliani left it’s getting harder to harvest hobo organs.” – Jack Donaghy
119- “Wigco.com? Sheinhardt’s Wig’s user-generated content site. All that anybody ever posted on it were penises.” – Jack Donaghy
120- “I don’t know. But I have the entire liberal media establishment at my disposal, the same manipulation machine that got Barack Obama elected and donate all of that money for Rainstorm Katrina.” – Jack Donaghy
121- “My God. I already put my wedding announcement in Cigar Aficionado.” – Jack Donaghy
122- “I haven’t seen this many riled up dirtbags since CVS started to put the cold medicine behind the counter.” – Jack Donaghy
123- “Somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody’s perfect.” – Jack Donaghy
124- “We’ll trick those race car-loving wide loads into loving your, watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet!” – Jack Donaghy
125- “This is decadent. And I once went to Miami with Daryl Strawberry.” – Jack Donaghy
126- “I want to welcome you to Season Four… the restaurant where you can get the very best food in the rest of America!” – Jack Donaghy
127- “I don’t have bed bugs, Kenneth. I went to Princeton.” – Jack Donaghy
128- “Oh, that’s right, Josh. I forgot about that guy. You think that’s a good sign?” – Jack Donaghy
129- “I’m already not liking some of these people. It reminds me of being on the bus.” – Jack Donaghy
130- “Whatever religious undergarment Kenneth wears is in a twist.” – Jack Donaghy
131- “That’s what I’m talking about, empathy. It’s about as useless as the Winter Olympics … This February on NBC.” – Jack Donaghy
132- “I’m in the middle of a RAGING period … of economic turmoil.” – Jack Donaghy
133- “I’m not a drug addict, I’m an executive with the General Electric corporation.” – Jack Donaghy
134- “I’ll give you a New York minute. That’s seven seconds.” – Jack Donaghy
135- “I say we hire the one who lives by the code of the robot: Care. Love. Live.” – Jack Donaghy
136- “Well, I’ll only be in D.C. for the day but if I find time I’ll be sure to go see Fonzie’s jacket. You sit on it as well.” – Jack Donaghy
137- “I didn’t get a bathroom door that looks like a wall by being bad at business.” – Jack Donaghy
138- “Your President, who by the way is Kenyan and smokes cigarettes, has created an industry task force for microwaves and small appliances.” – Jack Donaghy
139- “Two questions: must I live by Superman’s moral code and will the woman get older?” – Jack Donaghy
140- “Yes and no. Yes it happened and no, it didn’t not happen.” – Jack Donaghy
141- “Lemon has a decision to make. She can either be crushed by me, or she can suck in her stomach and crawl back through the tiny hole I’ve left for her in the proverbial door.” – Jack Donaghy
142- “I have a betting system based on horse penis size.” – Jack Donaghy
143- “With real estate there are no rules. It’s like check-in at an Italian airport.” – Jack Donaghy
144- “This isn’t the auto industry, Pete. The auto industry was run by a bunch of out of touch white guys selling consumers a product they didn’t want. We’re GE dammit, and we’re going to make a giant, flimsy microwave.” – Jack Donaghy
145- “Holding up one finger to get someone to be quiet? He invented that … Geiss also invented the abrupt conversational segue. Okay, talk about your thing now.” – Jack Donaghy
146- “The folks who are teaching our kids, running our prisons, growing our cigarettes.” – Jack Donaghy
147- “You’re like a swarthy, big-hipped Kelly Ripa.” – Jack Donaghy
148- “How surprising that your world view is food-based.” – Jack Donaghy
149- “Our health costs are down because we started putting something in the coffee to stop the women from getting pregnant.” – Jack Donaghy
150- “I asked you to find an actor from middle America, a real person. You’re not going to find him in the People’s Gaypublic of Drugafornia.” – Jack Donaghy
151- “I get it, treat her like the New York Times treats its readers!” – Jack Donaghy
152- “If this show doesn’t work, I might as well let Banks do one of his gay home-invasion fantasies on me.” – Jack Donaghy
153- “Kenneth’s been out there for an hour telling cleaned-up Garrison Keillor stories.” – Jack Donaghy
154- “Weird in a good way. Like going to the gym drunk.” – Jack Donaghy
155- “The last thing I remember is going into a closet and changing clothes with Bob Ballard.” – Jack Donaghy
156- “They’re probably having beach sex. Which is the third best sex after elevator and White House.” – Jack Donaghy
157- “For four years I’ve had to make do with what passes for men around here, with their untucked shirts, boneless faces, their Stars, both Wars and Trek.” – Jack Donaghy
158- “My secret is, I’m in love with Liz Lemon.” – Jack Donaghy
159- “Jonathan, why do I have an Indian assistant if my computer is always…” – Jack Donaghy
160- “What keeps people polite on airplanes? A shared hatred for the CBS sitcoms they’re forced to watch.” – Jack Donaghy
161- “The imaginary enemy. Classic move, Lemon. The Salem Witch Trials, the Red scare, global warming.” – Jack Donaghy
162- “That’s inspired. You truly are the Picasso of loneliness.” – Jack Donaghy
163- “You kept trying to order home massages off of Craigslist.” – Jack Donaghy
164- “How could a company from Philly buy a company from New York? That would be like Vietnam defeating the United States in a ground war.” – Jack Donaghy
165- “Not Seinfeld, Friends, ER exciting, more like 3-D episodes of Merlin exciting…” – Jack Donaghy
166- “He built GE into the greatest company on Earth, and the Earth into one of the top three planets in the universe!” – Jack Donaghy
167- “What if women had a pay-per-view channel featuring handsome men patiently listening to them? What if they had porn for women?” – Jack Donaghy
168- “I don’t know why you’re wearing girls’ pajamas, but I’m sure it’s cultural.” – Jack Donaghy
169- “Boston is the greatest city in the world. Boston Tea Party, Boston Cream Pie, Boston Rob Mariano.” – Jack Donaghy
170- “We brought good things to life. And bad things to Chinese rivers.” – Jack Donaghy
171- “As my good friend and fox hunting partner Mary J. Blige would say ‘No more drama.'” – Jack Donaghy
172- “In my defense, every April 22nd I honor Richard Nixon’s death by getting drunk and making some unpopular decisions.” – Jack Donaghy
173- “Peacocks can live up to 40 years. Longer if they’re not part of Mike Tyson’s zoo.” – Jack Donaghy
174- “We’d sit on his veranda talking about politics, business, how not to get paper cuts when making love on a pile of money.” – Jack Donaghy
175- “Very different indeed. Like a cantaloupe and a Ziploc bag of mushroom soup.” – Jack Donaghy
176- “Yes mom, I’ve memorized the names of all of the women in your water aerobics class.” – Jack Donaghy
177- “I know it’s gay, but it’s my gay problem and I’m handling it!” – Jack Donaghy
178- “I promise you this weekend will be filled with looking out windows while holding a glass of scotch.” – Jack Donaghy
179- “I’ve prepared a very unromantic evening. First we’re going to see a documentary about female circumcision, and then we’re going to eat too much Indian food.” – Jack Donaghy
180- “I wanna take naps with you. I wanna watch you watching hockey. I wanna find long red strands of hair in my overcooked pot roast.” – Jack Donaghy
181- “You can’t delude yourself into thinking you can combine them into one perfect woman, like a Smore you can take a shower with.” – Jack Donaghy
182- “The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit with both anglophiles and pedophiles.” – Jack Donaghy
183- “After I’m gone, your mother might meet someone else. I want her to be happy so his death must appear to be accidental.” – Jack Donaghy
184- “Does it seem weird in here to you? Everything looks like a Mexican soap opera.” – Jack Donaghy
185- “I’m looking for D.I.H.C Avery, and I’m going to take it wherever I can find it.” – Jack Donaghy
186- “Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven’t you ever read my throw pillow?” – Jack Donaghy
187- “He owns the world’s only giraffe basketball team, the New York Necks.” – Jack Donaghy
188- “Those jeans make you look like a Mexican sports reporter.” – Jack Donaghy
189- “I’m been a G.E. man for 30 years. And a G.E woman for one week of corporate espionage on Revlon.” – Jack Donaghy
190- “Don’t worry about getting to your point. I am going to live forever.” – Jack Donaghy
191- “That is actually MY thoughtful window staring place. Visitors can go over here.” – Jack Donaghy
192- “I’m tired of talking this much to a woman I’m not having sex with.” – Jack Donaghy
193- “We Donaghys believe that when there is something at all delicate to talk about it is best to suppress it…until it erupts into a fist fight at a church barbecue.” – Jack Donaghy
194- “Fantastic Jenna. You really brought the song-writing computer’s words to life.” – Jack Donaghy
195- “I can get you into a restaurant where you watch a child play with a bunny, and then you eat the bunny.” – Jack Donaghy
196- “I never sleep on planes. I don’t wanna get “incepted.”” – Jack Donaghy
197- “Yes my daughter is Canadien-American, but I’m going to treat her just like a human baby.” – Jack Donaghy
198- “Lemon you just had a structural, analytic insight. Professor Widmer would’ve given you a good job spanking.” – Jack Donaghy
199- “I can see someone got to first base, which is what I consider sex with a stranger.” – Jack Donaghy
200- “Who thinks that gesturing with one’s thumbs is for poor people, and is going to be the next CEO of Kabletown? This guy!” – Jack Donaghy
201- “I am extremely secure in my athleticism, my masculinity, and my rectal integrity.” – Jack Donaghy
202- “There is a gay Jack Donaghy. His name is Devon Banks.” – Jack Donaghy
203- “He’s a gay shark, like the actor who played Jaws.” – Jack Donaghy
204- “We produce more failed pilots than the French Air Force.” – Jack Donaghy
205- “Do tv, and no one will ever take you seriously again.” – Jack Donaghy
206- “I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.” – Jack Donaghy
207- “This thing’s a real cash cow, unlike Cash Cow, the NBC spinoff of Cash Cab. You try riding a cow through midtown Manhattan, Lemon. The animal will panic.” – Jack Donaghy
208- “Maybe we could make even more money by pretending to be nice. I mean, look at Betty White.” – Jack Donaghy
209- “Next week Jay-Z was going to do a duet with one of the spinning chairs from The Voice, and the chair just pulled out.” – Jack Donaghy
210- “It’s the ultimate game…Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It’s a Jack-off.” – Jack Donaghy
211- “I used to be a winner. Men wanted to be me. Women wanted to sleep with me. Bisexuals wanted to watch.” – Jack Donaghy
212- “He’s a white male with hair, Lemon. The sky’s the limit.” – Jack Donaghy
213- “She’s right. You are a penis.” – Jack Donaghy
214- “Wow, that is some high level paranoid thinking…like Hitler, or Willy Wonka.” – Jack Donaghy
215- “Meditation is a waste of time, like learning French or kissing after sex.” – Jack Donaghy
216- “One of these days Dorris I’m gonna take a shotgun and blam, blow your face off.” – Jack Donaghy
217- “One of these days I’m gonna cut you up in pieces and feed you to the neighbor’s dogs.” – Jack Donaghy
218- “Bang, zoom, I’m gonna drown you in the bathtub and say a mental patient did it.” – Jack Donaghy
219- “We’ve got a great show. At least that’s what the Jews I pay tell me.” – Jack Donaghy
220- “What do people not want to talk about? Soccer, jazz, infidelity.” – Jack Donaghy
