Black Books Quotes: “Black Books” is a British sitcom television series that originally aired from 2000 to 2004. The show was created by Dylan Moran and Graham Linehan. It is set in a fictional second-hand bookshop located in London and revolves around the misadventures of its eccentric and often grumpy owner, Bernard Black, played by Dylan Moran.
The main character, Bernard Black, is a heavy-drinking and book-obsessed man who lacks any real interest in running his bookstore effectively. He is sarcastic, cynical, and has a strong aversion to customer service, often driving potential customers away with his rude behavior. Despite his irritable nature, Bernard is also shown to have moments of kindness and vulnerability, particularly with his friends.
Black Books Quotes
1- Bernard : I can feel pieces of my brain falling away like a wet cake.
2- Bernard: ‘Look at that face! I bet his Corn Flakes tried to crawl out of the bowl!’
3- Bernard : I love my thumbs.
4- Bernard: Can I have a glass of wine? And a ham sandwich? WITH A PICKLE?!
5- Fran: ‘You always know when you’re in for a good night when theres a polar bear bleeding on the label.’
6- Cleaner: ‘I want to clean your dusty cups from the inside out’
7- Bernard : Natural Selection favours the loud and aggressive, no offense, but genetically you are a cul-de-sac.
8- Manny: ‘I’m eating scrambled eggs, with a comb, from a shoe!
9- Bernard (to manny): ‘You know what you are? You’re a beard with an idiot hanging off it.’
10- Bernard: ‘I can feel bits of my brain falling away like a wet cake.’
11- Manny: ‘My, what a lovely carrot’ said the hippo. ‘Yes, but is it organic?’ said the rabbit in a squeaky voice.
12- Bernard: ‘This paint will make a tasty dish! Yes! Yes! My oven can cook anything, my oven can cook…… BITS OF OVEN!’
13- Manny: Add a drop of lavender to your bath and soon, you will soak yourself calm.
14- Bernard : Whores will have their trinkets.
15- Fran: I am a giant ear, waiting for your songs of niceness.
16- Fran: It’s sort of a bald Furby?
17- Bernard : Don’t you DARE use the word “Party” as a verb in my shop!
18- Manny: (to woman giving birth) ‘When you’re feeling under pressure, do something different. Roll up your sleeves, or eat an orange.’
19- Bernard : Lies! Subterfuge! Seething Corruption!
20- Bernard: It couldn’t be simpler. You’ve got the academic who survived the Stalinist purges and is now having flashbacks to that time. There’s his daughter whose long bitter marriage is falling apart around her and the journalist who’s investigating the academic because he suspects he was never in Russia at the time and then he falls obsessively in love with the daughter and sacrifices his career to become a lense grinder in Omsk.
21- Manny: ‘I ate all your bees.’
22- Bernard : Don’t make me laugh, bitterly. Fran will fail, you will toil your life away & I will die alone upside down on the floor of a pub toilet.
There’s the elephant. He’s happy with his balloon. Oh no! It’s gone. Where is it? It’s not behind the rhino…
23-Bernard: We’re on the pig’s back, charging through a velvet field.
