portlandia tv show quotes
1- Jason : “Portland’s a city where young people go to retire.”
2- Candace: “Press one for shut up and go home!”
3- Toni : “Every time you point I see a penis.”
4- Lance: “Put a bird on it!”
5- “Have you seen this dog, are you the owner?”
6- “Saggy ass bad girl shorts now in stock”
7- Dave: “I’ll be your Santa Claus if you want, and I’ll be every goddamn elf you want.”
8- Frannie Walker : “We take an empty space in someone’s head and we fill it with literature”
9- Mayor: “If you can open up your heart and you can feel the sun and feel the music, all is good and all is forgiven”
10- “What a sad little tote bag…. I know. Put a bird on it.”
11- “Who puts their dog on a pole like a stripper?”
12- Nina: “People tell me my body looks like a melted candle.”
13- “There is a 60% divorce rate and I think that THAT should be in the forefront of people’s minds at this wedding.”
14- Various Characters: “We are a peaceful organization, but at this time this makes me very war-like.”
15- “Chin beards are over! Everything is over!”
16- Various Characters: “Uh, how’s that milkshake coming, friend? Not too cold on that, right?”
17- Frannie Walker: “I feel a Penis here”
18- “It tears at the core of my being the idea of someone just cashing in on a trend like organic.”
19- “We’re about 2 seconds away from jumping up on this table and kicking everything in site, which by the way is our own property.”
20- “There is an animal tied up to a piece of metal. I’m sure it wasn’t born there.”
21- “This is not a back alley hooker-pimp transaction.”
22- “Thank you Nance for dialing your bitch down a bit. It means a lot to me.”
23- “If you’re not outraged you’re not paying attention.”
24- “What if I just left?” “I would chase you down and scratch the back of your neck, so hard.”
25- “People tell me my body looks like a melted candle”
26- “I’m dying soon. I wanted to say goodbye to you. Rachel, I stole your watch and you’re never getting it back. Ever.”
27- “We don’t have ice tea. We have smiley tea.” “What’s the smiley tea?” “It’s tea with ice in it.”
28- “The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!”
