Bree Van De Kamp is the most Beautiful woman in Desperate Housewives tv show. We listed best Bree Van De Kamp quotes.
1- “If you think I’m gonna discuss the dissolution of my marriage in a place where the restrooms are labeled “Chicks” and “Dudes”, you are out of your mind.” – Bree Van De Kamp
2- “Change in behavior is one of the warning signs and you have been as fresh as paint for the last six months. That certainly would explain why you’re always locked in the bathroom.” – Bree Van De Kamp
3- “We sat on Skyline Drive and drank a bottle of apple wine and when we finished it, you turned to me and you said, “If you marry me, Bree Mason, I promise to love you for the rest of my life.” And even though I was engaged to Ty Grant, and even though my father didn’t like you, I said yes.” – Bree Van De Kamp
4- “Rex. In college, when we first started dating, people were so jealous of us. We were the golden couple. Everybody knew we were going to have this wonderful life. Why is this happening?” – Bree Van De Kamp
5- “Andrew, I’m curious. When you fantasize about this woman, do you ever stop to think how she came to be on this runway? That’s someone’s little girl. And that someone probably had a lot of dreams for her. Dreams that did not include a thong… and a pole…” – Bree Van De Kamp
6- “Rex. The truth is, with the kids gone, I’ll be all by myself in this house for the first time in seventeen years.” – Bree Van De Kamp
7- “I love to try out new recipes before the holidays. That way if the cookbook has it wrong, I can fix it.” – Bree Van De Kamp
8- “He could’ve been a sexual predator.” – Bree Van De Kamp
9- “I love everything about it. The sensations, the smells. I especially love the feel of a man. All that muscle and sinew pressed against my body. And then, when you add friction. Mmm … The tactile sensation of running my tongue over a man’s nipple ever so gently. And then there’s the act itself – two bodies becoming one in that final eruption of pleasure. To be honest, the only thing I don’t like about sex is the scrotum. I mean, obviously it has its practical applications, but I’m just not a fan.” – Bree Van De Kamp
10- “A woman is in a coma, because of Andrew. And there he is, happy as a clam!” – Bree Van De Kamp
11- “Options?! I’m not a mutual fund, Rex.” – Bree Van De Kamp
12- “Were you with a woman? Did you tell her that you have a wife or does that hinder your pick-up style?” – Bree Van De Kamp
13- “Oh, I don’t hate you, Maisy. I pity you.” – Bree Van De Kamp
14- “As of this moment, Rex, I am no longer your wife. I am going to go out, and find the most vindictive lawyer I can find, and together, we are going to eviscerate you. I’m going to take away your money, your family, and your dignity. Do you hear me?” – Bree Van De Kamp
15- “Rex, I don’t want to say anything that might upset you. The doctor said any more stress could cause another heart attack… It’s a romantic date with a single, attractive man and I intend to French the hell out of him.” – Bree Van De Kamp
16- “You shouldn’t listen to a woman who’s just had her heart broken. We tend to lie.” – Bree Van De Kamp
17- “Well it’s just that my Aunt Fern lives in Philadelphia and I don’t want to be thinking about her while I’m spanking you with a leather strap.” – Bree Van De Kamp
18- “What do you want me to say? My husband likes to wear metal clamps around his nipples. Hooray?” – Bree Van De Kamp
19- “Well, I’ll tell you. My daughter is planning on giving you her virginity and I would consider it a personal favor if you wouldn’t take it.” – Bree Van De Kamp
20- “Oh sweetie, they didn’t abandon you because you’re a whore. They abandoned you because you weren’t that nice to begin with.” – Bree Van De Kamp
21- “Good friends offer to help in a crisis; great friends don’t take no for an answer.” – Bree Van De Kamp
22- “I will scream… about your cruelty. Then I will scream about your infidelity. And just to make sure it really hurts, I will scream about your distasteful sexual habits. You want to know what true humiliation is, you just take one step.” – Bree Van De Kamp
23- “Camp Hennessy. Teaches kids respect for authority and boundaries in a summer camp-like atmosphere.” – Bree Van De Kamp
24- “Think about how good men are at lying on the spot. Imagine if you gave them time and a pen.” – Bree Van De Kamp
25- “George, do you have an erection?” – Bree Van De Kamp
26- “If I’m gonna break a commandment, I don’t want it to be for a quickie on this couch.” – Bree Van De Kamp
27- “We can’t do this. It’s adultery!” – Bree Van De Kamp
28- “Karl, when we began this affaire, we agreed to be discreet. Do you know what discreet means? No skywriting!” – Bree Van De Kamp
29- “Orson! How are corn nuts urgent?” – Bree Van De Kamp
30- “Lynette, hi, it’s Bree. I do hope I’m not calling too early. Hmm? Oh, of course you can borrow that scarf. I’ll press it for you. Um, I have, uh, some news. Rex died.” – Bree Van De Kamp
31- “I am not kidding. I will go non-denominational so fast, it will make your head spin!” – Bree Van De Kamp
32- “Even Italians take a break now and then!” – Bree Van De Kamp
33- “For God’s sake Phyllis, don’t you ever worry about dehydration?” – Bree Van De Kamp
34- “I think perhaps the machine picked up on something, something that I wasn’t aware of.” – Bree Van De Kamp
35- “I have done nothing to be forgiven for! I was a fantastic wife! When he was sick, I nursed him. When we were low on money, I stayed within a budget. I cooked his meals, I mended his clothes. For the love of God, I used to check his back for acne. And that miserable son of a bitch has the nerve to understand and forgive me! Well, the joke’s on him because I do not understand and I do not forgive!” – Bree Van De Kamp
36- “My husband, the man I spent my life with for eighteen years, died thinking that I murdered him!” – Bree Van De Kamp
37- “Well, obviously there’s a down side to having good manners.” – Bree Van De Kamp
38- “True love is great, but at this point in my life, I’d rather go to the opera.” – Bree Van De Kamp
39- “I don’t understand. I mean, what would George be doing with a life-sized doll? Oh, dear lord.” – Bree Van De Kamp
40- “My son is trying to blackmail me, and I would like you to stop the little S.O.B.” – Bree Van De Kamp
41- “When I was young, my stepmother told me that I was very lucky. I possessed beauty, wit, cunning and insight. These were weapons all women needed to survive in the world.” – Bree Van De Kamp
42- “The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care, and we’re still connected and I still have a chance to set you right.” – Bree Van De Kamp
43- “Perception is reality, Andrew. And if people perceive me to have a drinking problem, then I do. And I certainly don’t want some idiotic judge using my hobby as an excuse to make you rich. So I’m simply going to give up my wine and become a recovering alcoholic.” – Bree Van De Kamp
44- “For the record, I did not punch my son I slapped him with an open palm.” – Bree Van De Kamp
45- “I’m raising a monster is what I’m raising. It’s no wonder I drink.” – Bree Van De Kamp
46- “I know you think I’m kidding myself but I’m not! I’m nothing like you people! I just don’t have a compulsive personality.” – Bree Van De Kamp
47- “Andrew, I find your concern ironic giving how tanked you were when you ran over our neighbours mother with your car.” – Bree Van De Kamp
48- “I slapped him once and he deserved it!” – Bree Van De Kamp
49- “Those were some kick a** peanut butter cookies!” – Bree Van De Kamp
50- “I think I’m about to have a nervous breakdown.” – Bree Van De Kamp
51- “Isn’t it darling? I made it for your party. It’s a big one and a big seven, for seventeen!” – Bree Van De Kamp
52- “This cake is a symbol of my love!” – Bree Van De Kamp
53- “I can tell by your tone that you don’t believe me.” – Bree Van De Kamp
54- “You don’t understand. I’m not crazy . . . I just have a few issues.” – Bree Van De Kamp
55- “Oh, you know. That warm sensation; that tingling feeling of relief when it’s over. No, no, this was much…” – Bree Van De Kamp
56- “A reporter just did a story on homeless teens, and my son was one of them.” – Bree Van De Kamp
57- “I am so tired of feeling like the worst mother who ever lived.” – Bree Van De Kamp
58- “Now you listen to me. That woman gave you life, and the Fifth Commandment tells us to honor our parents no matter how hideous or repellent they may be.” – Bree Van De Kamp
59- “You cannot let your mother move into this neighborhood. It’s filled with junkies and whores.” – Bree Van De Kamp
