King of the Hill Quotes: King of the Hill is an American animated television series.
If you like King of the Hill Quotes you may also check 20 Best Beavis and Butthead Quotes
King of the Hill Quotes
1- “Well, you know me. I’m larger than life.” – Cotton Hill
2- “No coincidence. I like to hump, I like to eat, and I don’t like to drive.” – Buck Strickland
3- “Oh, honey, you are not trash just ’cause you grew up in a trailer and your mama’s in prison.” – Peggy Hill
4- “I got my shins blown off in Japan. Don’t tell me about your problems.” – Cotton Hill
5- “An ‘F’ in English? Bobby, you speak English!” – Hank Hill
6- “Your heart is telling you?! Who’s the boss, you or your heart? You are! Your heart is your employee! So get your heart off its butt and back to work!” – Hank Hill
7- “You do not use a man’s hitting wedge to hit the mud, Bobby!” – Hank Hill
8- “Don’t play lawyer-ball, son.” – Hank Hill
9- “Computers don’t make errors. What they do, they do on purpose. By now, your name and particulars have been fed into every laptop, desktop, mainframe, and supermarket scanner that collectively make up the global information conspiracy, otherwise known as ‘the Beast’.” – Dale Gribble
10- “Oh, I am more familiar with sinners than saints, my dear. And sinners always look good.” – Gilbert Dauterive
11- “They’ll use a blowdart—that’s their way. You’ll just think it’s a mosquito bite until you die, then you’ll know.” – Dale Gribble
12- “Hey, I didn’t go looking for trouble. Trouble came-a-knockin’ and Bobby Hill’s foot answered the door.” Bobby Hill
13- “Which is why so many people are suddenly allergic to peanuts. The peanuts are emitting toxins as an evolutionary defense mechanism. They’re tired of being eaten, and now they’re fighting back.” – Dale Gribble
14- “You’re a regular Halloween hellraiser just like your old man. And I’m very disappointed in you!” – Hank Hill
15- “Put your head between your six legs and kiss your butt good-bye!” – Hank Hill
16- “God dang it, Bobby!” – Hank Hill
17- “No coincidence. I like to hump, I like to eat, and I don’t like to drive.” -Buck Strickland
18- “Dale, you giblet-head, we live in Texas. It’s already 110 degrees in the summer, and if it gets one degree hotter, I’m gonna kick your ass!” – Hank Hill
19- “You’re like E.T., except E.T. was a purebred alien with a heart of gold. You’re only half-alien and at times can be a tad self-absorbed.”– Dale Gribble
20- “Guns don’t kill people, the government does.” – Dale Gribble
21- “I’m all jacked up on America right now! Anyone want to hear me recite the Constitution?” – Dale Gribble
22- “Bobby, you can’t make an omelette without breakin’ eggs, and you can’t get on base without takin’ a swing.” – Hank Hill
23- “Bobby, some things are like a tire fire—trying to put it out only makes it worse. You just gotta grab a beer and let it burn.” – Hank Hill
24- “I don’t have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!” – Hank Hill
25- “My class was cancelled and the library was closed. I love college.” – Luanne Platter
26- “My dad sure wants me to be at that haunted house. Last time, he wanted me to be somewhere so bad, I woke up without tonsils!” – Bobby Hill
27- “Can’t you see you’re not making Christianity better, you’re just making rock and roll worse?” – Hank Hill
28- “When I grow up, I want to sell propane and propane accessories, if my grades are good enough!” – Hank Hill
29- “Hank Hill, best man, Strickland Propane.” – Hank Hill
30- “Happiness. Happ-i-ness. Ha-penis. Penis. I did it! Ovaries. Uvula. Uterus. Vagina!” – Peggy Hill
31- “The temperature is a pleasant 70 degrees. And on a more personal note, I’d like to wish my friend Hank Hill a quick recovery from his embarrassing consti—.” – Nancy Gribble
32- “Dad, I’m confused. So you should trust people until they betray you, and then try to blow them up?” – Bobby Hill
33- “Uncle Hank, I quit being a virgin the first time I had sex.” – Luanne Platter
34- “ Every time I get hooted at, I have to take an hour of Tae Bo.” – Luanne Platter
35- “Donuts were one of life’s little joys. If the government bans puppy breath and good yawns, I’ll have nothing left to live for!” – Bobby Hill
36- “I have a sense of humor. I laugh at Tony Danza.” – Hank Hill
37- “They weren’t dancing like you and I used to, Peggy. They were enjoying it.” – Hank Hill
38- “Bobby, if you weren’t my son, I’d hug you.” – Hank Hill
39- “Dang it, I am sick and tired of everyone’s asinine ideas about me. I’m not a redneck, and I’m not some Hollywood jerk. I’m something else entirely. I’m…I’m complicated!” – Hank Hill
40- “That makes a whole lot of sense—a whole lot of nonsense!” – Dale Gribble
41- “I don’t know you! That’s my purse!” – Bobby Hill
42- “Yeah, there’s nothing worse than people not respecting you.” – Luanne Platter
43- “There’s something missing, something wrong—it’s like a pretty girl with short hair.” – Hank Hill
44- “To tell you the truth, Dad, that sounds boring. It’s okay if you’re into boring, but I’m not.” – Bobby Hill
45- “Honey, marriage is about trust, and she, well she betrayed him. It was like a knife in his heart when she stuck that fork in his back.” – Peggy Hill
46- “Your heart is telling you? Who’s the boss, you or your heart? You are! Your heart is your employee! So get your heart off its butt and back to work!” – Hank Hill
47- “I don’t have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!” – Hank Hill
48- “I was getting ready, but I worked up an appetite looking for dress pants, so I ordered a pizza, and that ate up a chunk of time.” – Bobby Hill
49- “Why would anyone smoke weed when they could just mow a lawn?” – Hank Hill
50- “Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking.” – Hank Hill
51- “What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he’s white?” – Hank Hill
52- “There better be a naked cheerleader under your bed!” – Hank Hill
