Discover the most memorable quotes from the iconic TV detective, Columbo. From his witty one-liners to his insightful observations, these 25 quotes capture the essence of Detective Columbo’s unique investigative style. Dive into the world of crime-solving with this curated collection of the best Columbo quotes that will entertain and inspire fans of the beloved detective series.
Detective Lt. Frank Columbo Quotes
1- “Perfect murder, sir? Oh, I’m sorry. There’s no such thing as a perfect murder. That’s just an illusion.” – Columbo
2- “In those days everything was bad for your eyes. Not wearing mittens was bad for your eyes. Wearing rubbers in the house, that would strike you blind right on the spot.” – Columbo
3- “ Just one more thing…” – Columbo
4- “A grand noble bird is the pelican. His beak hold more than his belly can. He swoops through the sky with an abundant supply. I’ll be darned if I know what the hell he can!” – Columbo
5- “I must say I found you disappointing; I mean your incompetence. You left enough clues to sink a ship. And for a man of your intelligence, you got caught in a lot of stupid lies.” – Columbo
6- “Before coffee, I’m up and walkin around but I’m not awake.” – Columbo
7- “I can’t imagine anyone murdering themselves, especially a young girl like that. Beautiful eyes. But that’s me. I’d like to see everyone die of old age.” – Columbo
8- “I gotta take off this coat. I can’t think in this coat…THE COAT, I can’t think in the coat.” – Columbo
9- “I worry. I mean, little things bother me. I’m a worrier. I mean, little insignificant details – I lose my appetite. I can’t eat. My wife, she says to me, “you know, you can really be pain – Columbo
10- “Sometimes I even wonder about my wife, not that she’s a crackpot.” – Columbo
11- “My wife says I’m the second smartest. She claims there are 80 guys tied for first.” – Columbo
12- “Where there’s a microscope, there’s always a slide.” – Columbo
13- “I can’t stand suicide. Murder is bad, but suicide is sadder.” – Columbo
14- “You try to contrive a perfect alibi, and it’s your perfect alibi that’s gonna hang ya.”– Columbo
15 – “Oh, I didn’t come to ask any more questions. I came to arrest you.” – Columbo
More Detective Columbo Quotes
- “Oh, just one more thing…”
- “There’s something that bothers me. I just can’t get it out of my mind.”
- “You know, ma’am, I never carry a gun. If people knew that, I’d probably be out of business.”
- “I’m not a magician. I’m just a regular cop.”
- “I’m sorry to bother you, but I just have a few more questions…”
- “I gotta tell you, sir, you really don’t make it easy on me.”
- “It’s funny, isn’t it? The more I ask, the more confused I get.”
- “You know, sir, I find that the best way to clear up these little matters is to talk about them.”
- “I’m not trying to make you nervous. It’s just my job.”
- “I’m not a fancy detective. I’m a cop.”
