Parks and Recreation Quotes: “Parks and Recreation” is an American television sitcom created by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur. The show premiered on NBC on April 9, 2009, and ran for seven seasons, concluding on February 24, 2015. The series was produced in a mockumentary format that presents the everyday lives of the employees in the Parks Department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana.
The series primarily revolves around Leslie Knope, played by Amy Poehler, an ambitious and optimistic bureaucrat who loves her hometown of Pawnee and has big dreams of improving it through her role in the Parks Department. The ensemble cast also includes Rashida Jones as Ann Perkins, Nick Offerman as Ron Swanson, Aziz Ansari as Tom Haverford, Aubrey Plaza as April Ludgate, Chris Pratt as Andy Dwyer, Adam Scott as Ben Wyatt, Rob Lowe as Chris Traeger, and Retta as Donna Meagle.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
Chris Traeger: “Pawnee is literally the best town in the country.”
Ron Swanson: “I love Food and Stuff. It’s where I buy all of my food. And most of my stuff.”
Donna Meagle : “Oh, I love any book about vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, sorcerers, beasties, or time-traveling romances. And if I had an hour alone with Robert Pattinson, he would forget all about Skinny Legs Magee, I’ll tell you that much.”
Leslie Knope: “Guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something they love.”
April Ludgate: “We have a couple of house rules, though. You can’t use the front door; you have to climb in through the back window. No personal phone conversations. If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal “usted.” And no electricity after 6:00 PM. A couple more rules: if you ever watch a sad movie, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you’ve been crying. There’s no noise allowed on Mondays. And no TV after breakfast.”
Leslie Knope : “No one achieves anything alone.”
Leslie Knope : “I am a Goddess, a glorious female warrior.”
Chris Traeger : “I take care of my body above all else. Diet, exercise, supplements, positive thinking. Scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.”
Ron Swanson : There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.
Andy Dwyer: “I’m allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 sushis, I barf.”
Leslie Knope : “Calzones are pointless. They’re just pizza that’s harder to eat. No one likes them.”
Leslie Knope : “You know my code. Hoes before bros. Uteruses before duderuses. Ovaries before brovaries.”
Leslie Knope : “I ate a brownie once at a party in college. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable, actually. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there wasn’t any pot in the brownie, it was just an insanely good brownie.”
Chris Traeger : “My body is finely tuned, like a microchip, and the flu is like a grain of sand. It could literally shut down the entire system.”
Jerry Gergich : “They can laugh at me all they want. Because two more years until I retire with full benefits and pension, and my wife and I, we have bought a little cottage on a lake, and I am gonna get myself a stack of mystery novels, a box of cigars, and I am gonna sit back and enjoy my life.”
Leslie Knope : “I don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.”
Chris Traeger : “If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.”
Andy Dwyer: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.”
Ron Swanson : It’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.
Ann Perkins : Halloween is my favorite holiday. It’s just the best. And I don’t have to work! Hey slutty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens, pump your own stomachs this year!!
Andy Dwyer : “This is so awesome. We are like Robin Hood. We steal from the club and give to ourselves.”
Leslie Knope : “You know my code. Hoes before bros. Uteruses before duderuses. Ovaries before Brovaries.”
Ron Swanson : Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.
Ron Swanson : “Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait…wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?”
Ron Swanson : “The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy.”
Ben Wyatt : “No, that’s Buckingham Palace. Hogwarts is fictional. You do know that, don’t you? It’s important to me that you know that.”
Andy Dwyer : “I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it really, really well.”
Ben Wyatt : “Bababooey.”
Tom Haverford : “Pawnee is the opposite of hip. People in this town are just now getting into Nirvana. I don’t have the heart to tell them what’s gonna happen to Kurt Cobain in 1994.”
Ron Swanson : “I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food.”
April Ludgate : “So you’ve gone insane. That’s fun.”
Leslie Knope : “If I had a stripper name, it would have to be Equality.”
April Ludgate : Time is money; Money is power; Power is pizza; Pizza is knowledge. Let’s go!
Leslie Knope : “Do it. Fierce. Power”
Leslie Knope : No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I’m like a white, male US Senator.”
April Ludgate : “We have a couple of house rules, though. You can’t use the front door; you have to climb in through the back window. No personal phone conversations. If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal “usted.” And no electricity after 6:00 PM. A couple more rules: if you ever watch a sad movie, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you’ve been crying. There’s no noise allowed on Mondays. And no TV after breakfast.”
Chris Traeger : “My anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours.”
Leslie Knope : “One person’s annoying is another’s inspiring and heroic.”
Tom Haverford : “When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? Because I bet on all the horses.”
Ron Swanson: “Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out.”
Ron Swanson: “There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.”
Ron Swanson: “Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are useless.”
Leslie Knope: “We have to remeber what’s important in life: friends waffles and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.”
Leslie Knope: “You’re a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk ox.”
Leslie Knope: “I would like to be president someday, so no, I’ve not smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party in college. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable, actually. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there wasn’t any pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.”
Ben Wyatt : “There’s like a 30% chance they’ll both die.”
April Ludgate : “The only things I like are dogs, sleeping late, and weird birthmarks.”
Ron Swanson: “Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys into men, from men into gladiators, and from gladiators into Swansons.”
Ann Perkins : “It’s really hard to say congrats without sounding sarcastic.”
Tom Haverford : “Most people would say ‘the deets’, but I say ‘the tails’. Just another example of innovation.”
Andy Dwyer : “Just remember, every time you look up at the moon, I, too, will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, That’s impossible.”
Chris Traeger : “If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.”
Leslie Knope : “I am not ashamed to say I am often inspired by myself.”
Ron Swanson: “I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.”
Ron Swanson: “Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night, if it meant nothing got done.”
Ben Wyatt : “I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually, it’s gonna bug me if I don’t.”
Ron Swanson : “Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong salt-of-the-earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field, your Steffi Graf’s, Sheryl Swoopes’s, but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.”
Leslie Knope: “Everything hurts and I’m dying.”
Leslie Knope : “Ann, you beautiful, sassy mannequin come to life.”
