Here we listed the best Jessica Day Quotes from New Girl tv show. Jessica Christopher “Jess” Day is a fictional title character on the FOX sitcom New Girl, where she is the only female roommate in an apartment in Los Angeles.
1- “Why are you talking to me like a James Taylor song?” – Jessica Day
2- “Ooh, bonus shot of Dad getting a haircut while eating spaghetti!” – Jessica Day
3- “Drinking to be cool, Nick? That’s not a real thing.” – Jessica Day
4- “You’re Abby Freakin’ Day. You can do whatever you want. Except vote.” – Jessica Day
5- “They jammed the radar with literal jam!” – Jessica Day
6- “Why does your bottom need to breathe?” – Jessica Day
7- “I have to show Nick…something in the bathroom.” – Jessica Day
8- “You don’t like lakes, I don’t like space! It’s okay!” – Jessica Day
9- “Oh my God. It is a hand…full of dollar bills y’all!” – Jessica Day
10- “Boob season’s over, for you!” – Jessica Day
11- “My boyfriend doesn’t believe in banks. It’s early in the relationship. I’m still shaving above the knee. Know what I mean?” – Jessica Day
12- “Nick calls birds ‘wind-mice.’ Nick says ‘yahtzee’ when he climaxes. He calls turtles ‘shell-beavers.'” – Jessica Day
13- “I’m having a party tonight and I can’t have him lying on the couch, wiping his tears with deli meat.” – Jessica Day
14- “I’m gonna Biden his ass!” – Jessica Day
15- “Schmidt, you stole my toothpaste while I was using it. That’s vindictive.” – Jessica Day
16- “Nick isn’t even a man. He’s some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day, I had to tell him not to pull a dog’s tail.” – Jessica Day
17- “Them’s joint bank account eyes.” – Jessica Day
18- “I call it a “Temple Grandin,” because it makes me friendly and compassionate.” – Jessica Day
19- “I know I’m gullible because a lot of people tell me that and I have no reason not to believe them.” – Jessica Day
20- “Nick doesn’t have a life plan. He doesn’t have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, “Put on pants.”” – Jessica Day
21- “Hubba, hubba, mama in trubba.” – Jessica Day
22- “I thought you said you were afraid of camping and nature. You said you were afraid a fly was going to fly in your head and learn all your thoughts.” – Jessica Day
24- “Are you insane, Schmidt? I’m not ready. That’s like taking a musical from rehearsal straight to Broadway. You gotta workshop it first!” – Jessica Day
25- “Do not challenge me to a sex stand-off. I can channel all of my sexual energy into knitting. How do you think I made it through high school?” – Jessica Day
26- “If you feel things getting sexual say, “shut it down!”” – Jessica Day
27- “I’m in a limo! I wish I had really long legs so I could stretch ’em out the length of the limo!” – Jessica Day
28- “We’re just covering our asses, while you’re uncovering yours.” – Jessica Day
29- “Nick, I never thought I’d say this, but I need to be alone with Prince.” – Jessica Day
30- “So you want us to come out so that you can go back to hooking up with all the hot teachers?” – Jessica Day
31- “Have you seen a girl who looks like me, but with chaos in her eyes?” – Jessica Day
32- “Well, I had to take the necessary precautions because the last time you left, you forgot who I was. You called me Jebecka.” – Jessica Day
33- “OK, yes, she’s a hot slob. Ever since she got boobs people stopped making her do stuff.” – Jessica Day
34- “Why does he act like the Pope when he’s happy?” – Jessica Day
35- “Jury duty was quite simply the tops.” – Jessica Day
36- “I do all her work and she does all the working of her cleavage.” – Jessica Day
37- “This looks like an ad for a bong making company.” – Jessica Day
38- “Is this change of plans an overreaction to something?” – Jessica Day
39- “I said chill day in, but did I mean it?” – Jessica Day
40- “Welcome to your bachelorette party 2.0.” – Jessica Day
41- “It’s like my hearing is what a dog hears.” – Jessica Day
42- “I’m sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.” – Jessica Day
43- “I know you’re not a stripper, but is there any way you can take your short pants off?” – Jessica Day
44- “I want to thank everyone for an amazing dinner. Special shout out to Winston for a shockingly good toast.” – Jessica Day
45- “Everyone has had sex in my room!” – Jessica Day
46- “Yeah, I’m counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.” – Jessica Day
47- “You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver’s shoe.” – Jessica Day
48- “Melanie Farts, signed five times.” – Jessica Day
49- “Emotionally they may not be available, but socially they are.” – Jessica Day
50- “That’s for sucker MCs, and west coast punks.” – Jessica Day
