Christian Troy is the one of nip tuck’s two plastic surgeons. We listed best Christian Troy Quotes from Nip Tuck tv show.
1- “I have pubic hair older than you!” – Christian Troy
2- “I wouldn’t sit on the same toilet seat as you for a hundred grand.” – Christian Troy
3- “The two plums between my legs are not balls, they’re testicles.” – Christian Troy
4- “Four hundred thousand bucks gets you ten minutes. Strictly missionary, nothing kinky.” – Christian Troy
5- “I don’t think we’ve both ever been single at the same time.” – Christian Troy
6- “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” – Christian Troy
7- “You left out sexual depravity and devil worship.” – Christian Troy
8- “You’re right. I suck. I suck as a friend. I suck as a lover. I suck as a fiancée. I’m tired of defending myself.” – Christian Troy
9- “I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at us. I mean, it is funny. After all these years, Julia was the reason for our ‘who’s got the biggest dick contest’. Now we find out, she doesn’t even like ’em.” – Christian Troy
10- “You wanna talk about the real reason you breezed into town? And do me a favour, Mr. Perez, when you answer, drop the ‘no hablo English’ bullshit. It doesn’t add to my confusion about your predicament, it only highlights your own. I’m a doctor; what you tell me during consultation is confidential.” – Christian Troy
11- “I feel like I’m trying to sell semen at a whorehouse.” – Christian Troy
12- “You lubricate acid. If I stuck my dick in you, it would sizzle off.” – Christian Troy
13- “Right? So sooner or later, we’re gonna make this town our bitch, too.” – Christian Troy
14- “For every beautiful girl there is a guy tired of screwing her.” – Christian Troy
15- “It’s not like we can start up in a strip mall, hand out fliers hoping people will come through the door.” – Christian Troy
16- “You know what my first impression of Hollywood is, Sean? It’s a shithole. Where’s the excitement I grew up reading about? Where’s the glamour, huh? This town needs me. Which is why I’m moving here.” – Christian Troy
17- “For every date, I sit in a 116 degree bath. Excessive testicular heat shuts down spermatogenosis. Teabag your testicles in a hot tub and I swear you’ll be sterile and squeaky clean.” – Christian Troy
18- “You have a daughter? That is fantastic. What about daddy? You pull him out of the drawer for Thanksgiving to baste the turkey?” – Christian Troy
19- “There are times I want to feel more May, than September for a change.” – Christian Troy
20- “Can you still find a cooch under that gunt?” – Christian Troy
21- “I’ve never had a buddy of mine stick his pinky up my ass just for shits and giggles.” – Christian Troy
22- “With the amount of high-calorie choices available to consumers these days and the enormous portions restaurants are shoving in your face, surgery is the only solution for some people.” – Christian Troy
23- “Quentin and I are in the middle of a facial transplant!” – Christian Troy
24- “Then I’ll buy you a bag of goddamn lollipops!” – Christian Troy
25- “Are you actually telling me to stick my dick in the crypt keeper to make your mistake go away?” – Christian Troy
26- “What we had was spiritual, Kimber. I made you see God everytime you came.” – Christian Troy
27- “I know, but I can be better. I know I can. Would you tell a millionaire to stop making money?!” – Christian Troy
28- “I just want to point out that it was you who compared yourself to a gorilla, not me.” – Christian Troy
29- “If you’re thinking conflict of interest, I’d like to volunteer my services.” – Christian Troy
30- “We called her Pussy Lips. I’d watch a show with pussy lips on it.” – Christian Troy
31- “Hey, you guys might want to sage the nursery. His ex-wife screwed a dwarf in there.” – Christian Troy
32- “We had a system. If I had a girl in the room, I put the ‘Man of Walk’ album outside so you know not to come in. But you’re the one who insisted coming in most of the time. Pussy, I knew what you wanted. You wanted to see me screw because it was the closest you could get to being laid.” – Christian Troy
33- “Oh yeah, yeah… I read about that in Time magazine. You fix some guy’s cleft after walking into landmines. That kind of shit.” – Christian Troy
34- “Throw a stone down South Beach and you would hit some model I did not call back.” – Christian Troy
35- “Oh Jesus, you’ve gotta be kidding me. You pull this crap every time you’re fragile little ego gets bruised.” – Christian Troy
36- “I’m sorry the movies I like are not the cinematic masterpieces you direct, Kimber.” – Christian Troy
37- “You banged the night nurse, Sean.” – Christian Troy
38- “Your seduction skills need a little work.” – Christian Troy
39- “That’s easy for you to say. You’ve never been with Vagina Gina!” – Christian Troy
40- “I can have anyone anytime I want it.” – Christian Troy
41- “Your grades, asshole, not your dick!” – Christian Troy
42- “This is about you playing Demi Moore with some 25-year-old punk kid with an overactive libido.” – Christian Troy
43- “Enough with your feminazi bullshit, Liz! Shut up and serve the surgeon!!” – Christian Troy
44- “They don’t speak a word of English and only love me for my money. But they don’t quit until the super Viagra wears off, so who gives a shit.” – Christian Troy
45- “Cocker spaniels all over south Florida howl in relief.” – Christian Troy
46- “They both have physical problems that need treating. What makes his face more deserving than her tits?” – Christian Troy
47- “Domesticated or not there is no pussy for you here.” – Christian Troy
48- “There is no pro bono for boning a pro.” – Christian Troy
49- “I’ll make you a ten again, sweetheart, I promise. I’ll make you a ten again.” – Christian Troy
50- “The Messiah? Liz, I thought you were an athiest.” – Christian Troy
51- “Here’s the dilemma. You think a jockey wants to come home to see his girlfriend dressed like a horse? I’m around nurses all day, sweetheart. If I wanted to screw one of them, I would’ve by now.” – Christian Troy
52- “The line that divides the porn industry and the plastic surgery is a thin one. We’re both selling fantasy, aren’t we?” – Christian Troy
53- “I know enough to know that the pound wouldn’t give either of you a 10 year old mutt covered in shit right now.” – Christian Troy
54- “Sweetheart, you’re two hours late. If you were a pizza, I’d get you for free.” – Christian Troy
55- “I thought vampires kept their looks forever.” – Christian Troy
56- “Sweetheart, everything I need to know about you is bouncing around in front of my face.” – Christian Troy
57- “Where do you get the balls to come on to me?” – Christian Troy
58- “So you’ll give your night nurse a nose job but you won’t give your partner some lunchtime lipo?” – Christian Troy
59- “Wish I felt the same, sweetheart. Sorry, but even a squashed spider spins its web until its final breath.” – Christian Troy
60- “Pineapple juice, baby! Makes a man’s shooty-shoot taste infinitely sweeter. It’s nature’s guarantee of a second date.” – Christian Troy
61- “Exhibiting a feat of modern technological daring by programming my number into your cell. Thus, proving that I’m a modern man of my times.” – Christian Troy
62- “Once you’ve seen a woman’s cum face, you’ve seen her soul.” – Christian Troy
63- “He’s around you all the time. Oh correction, you’re an expensive whore.” – Christian Troy
64- “The sex isn’t the exhausting part. It’s the constant jockeying for position. I am trying to establish myself as the Walk of Cock here.” – Christian Troy
65- “Hey, I am a professional, sweetheart. Don’t try and sell me something I don’t need. Men half my age want to look as good as this, okay? You’re the one who needs work done, doctor. Lasik.” – Christian Troy
66- “I thought lesbians didn’t play games. I thought it was all about cuddling and sharing of depilatory cream.” – Christian Troy
67- “If I’m going to do this one woman thing, it can’t be with just one woman.” – Christian Troy
68- “Michelle is the kind of woman who wants to feel like a spider and I’m a helpless little fly caught in her web.” – Christian Troy
69- “Yeah, well, screw you! Screw you!” – Christian Troy
70- “Michelle didn’t tell me her pimp had a pimp.” – Christian Troy
71- “I’m way past shooting for sainthood, sweetheart. God gave me a dick and I intend to glorify him by playing that organ as intensely and as often as possible.” – Christian Troy
72- “Really? My bride left me at the altar. My partner left me for a midlife crisis. Am I missing something?” – Christian Troy
73- “I did turn down her surgery and now I need to turn her on. We’re not going to get anywhere in this town by giving Carly Summers a little Botox. She needs a face-lift, a tit job and whatever else I can seduce her into getting. Good plan, huh?” – Christian Troy
74- “Maybe I’ll always be alone. Maybe thats just the way it’s meant to be.” – Christian Troy
75- “I’m a widely successful plastic surgeon with great hair, pro-white teeth and a 33-inch waist. I’m a goddamn superhero and I’m going to put that cape back on, fly back into every singles bar in town and bang myself silly.” – Christian Troy
76- “Look. Maybe Kumba can see past Kiki’s scar, to her “inner beauty” — Maybe he’s not a shallow bastard like the rest of us.” – Christian Troy
77- “I’m a jackrabbit. I don’t do slow and steady. I’ve paid my dues and I want some overnight success.” – Christian Troy
78- “Look it’s men. We’re just wired that way, even if some small part of our brain actually gives a damn about your soul, it’s always short-circuited by the part that wants to get into your pants.” – Christian Troy
79- “have you arrested for statutory rape.” – Christian Troy
80-“Let your shortcomings and imperfections fuel you. When you stop striving for perfection you might as well be dead.” – Christian Troy
81- “I’d prefer a blond that can suck the yellow off a canary than brunettes with tight asses.” – Christian Troy
82- “Kimber’s not a condiment from IHOP, sweetheart, she’s not to be passed around the table.” – Christian Troy
83- “I want her dazzling enough that it would give my dick amnesia.” – Christian Troy
84- “Just so you know, this Encino crap ain’t gonna cut it. It’s Rodeo Drive the whole way. With my sizzling good looks and brilliant business savvy and your moderately impressive talent, I think we could take over this town.” – Christian Troy
85- “I used to fantasize when I was beaten and molested by my foster father that everything would be okay because my mother was an angel watching over me. She’d want to see me make something out of this life.” – Christian Troy
86- “Just because I groom, doesn’t mean I’ve gone brokeback.” – Christian Troy
87- “I love all this Californian New Age crap. It is hilarious to make you think that you can stick a needle in your head, and that your whole body is going to go numb; you know it’s just a lawsuit waiting to happen.” – Christian Troy
88- “Well there’s a bit of a difference here. You’re not moving in with your current piece of ass!” – Christian Troy
89- “I laughed, I cried, I came.” – Christian Troy
90- “Is this surgery or open mic night at the lesbian coffee bar?” – Christian Troy
91- “I haven’t struck out like this since there was a rumor that I had genital warts.” – Christian Troy
92- “I don’t excel at anything. My relationships, my profession… All I have to offer is a great smile and a convincing line of bullshit.” – Christian Troy
93- “How would you feel if I took a mould of my cock, passed it round South Beach and called it a career?” – Christian Troy
94- “Ever notice how “monogamy” rhymes with “monotony”?” – Christian Troy
95- “I don’t want you in the porn business any more. Period. And I want you to stop selling those dolls. Do you realize how many men are boning you right now? I went online. Hundreds of those things have been sold.” – Christian Troy
96- “Dr. Santiago, maybe you should consider having your own orgasm every now and then so you don’t have to live through mine.” – Christian Troy
97- “I didn’t realize you are a bitter lipstick lesbian. I’m sorry for taking up your time.” – Christian Troy
98- “I have a discriminating eye, Sean. I turned down Michael Jackson today.” – Christian Troy
99- “Sacrifices? You’re a goddamn physical terrorist.” – Christian Troy
100- “Mr. Mantegna. When we’re done with you, the only tits you’ll be feeling up are gonna belong to Hooters girls.” – Christian Troy
101- “Free surgeries are like sex without an orgasm.” – Christian Troy
102- “If Anne Frank were hiding in your attic, she wouldn’t have gotten past the words ‘Dear Diary.’ I’m putting pussy lips back on the schedule!” – Christian Troy
103- “Fourteen hours in this place without a cup of coffee even Ghandi would become a narcoleptic.” – Christian Troy
104- “Must have been one hell of a guy. It usually takes at least six karats for a bitch to give it up like that.” – Christian Troy
105- “Face it, Sean, we’re not college kids anymore. Your hairline is up and your ass is down.” – Christian Troy
106- “If I’m not home by ten o’clock and deep into a beer and some Chinese food, I’ll have my lawyer sue you for defamation of character, false arrest and, if possible, being a royal bitch.” – Christian Troy
107- “You’re like herpes. Every time I feel like I’m getting my life back, I have a Gina outbreak.” – Christian Troy
108- “Get your coat and your bitch on.” – Christian Troy
109- “Why would I consider using a condom? You haven’t had a pregnancy scare since Gabe Kaplan was a celebrity.” – Christian Troy
110- “Nurse, it’s quieter than an ant’s fart in here. Go play some music.” – Christian Troy
111- “Have you tried doing the alphabet? Women are right-brained. They are instinctive and verbal. Want to be a better lover? Work on your language skills.” – Christian Troy
112- “I can munch, dive and fish better than any girl in this place. Plus I have in my possession a very life-like dildo just in case you decide to get kinky.” – Christian Troy
Was cured from herpes virus. thanks to R.buckler 11 [at] G mail com………………..… biblioklept (@biblioklept)