Looking for the best Chris Traeger quotes from the hit TV show Parks and Recreation? Look no further! We’ve compiled a list of the top 25 Chris Traeger quotes that will make you laugh, inspire you, and leave you feeling motivated. From his relentless optimism to his unwavering dedication to health and fitness, Chris Traeger’s quotes are sure to brighten your day.
Chris Traeger Quotes
1- “I have run 10 miles a day, every day, for 18 years. That’s 65 thousand miles. A third of the way to the moon. My goal is to run to the moon.” – Chris Traeger
2- “I think a lot of things. I like thinking. I also like racquetball.” – Chris Traeger
3- “I have a resting heart rate of 23 beats per minute. The scientists who study me say my heart can pump jet fuel up into an airplane.” – Chris Traeger
4- “Everything is amazing. Today is perfect. And I love you.” – Chris Traeger
5- “I know what’ll loosen up our brains. Massage train. And, I know what you’re thinking. It’s not that I want a massage; I’ll be the caboose. And Ron Swanson is the locomotive.” – Chris Traeger
6- “I was born with a blood disorder and my parents were told I had three weeks to live. And here I still am. Some 2,000 odd weeks later and I have enjoyed every one of them.” – Chris Traeger
7- “I was dying earlier today. Now I’m dead.” – Chris Traeger
8- “I’d like you to get me some more post-its. I’d like them in multiple colors. I’d like green. I’d like yellow. Do not buy orange. I do not want orange. I have plenty of orange.” – Chris Traeger
9- “The world’s my gymnasium, Ron!” – Chris Traeger
10- “Women’s razors work better. For whatever reason men’s razor technology hasn’t figured out a way to properly contour the shin bone.” – Chris Traeger
11- “Carob cookies and berries are literally my favorite dessert alternative.” – Chris Traeger
12- “You’re beautiful! On the inside… where your spirit lives.” – Chris Traeger
13- “Labels can be bad, but they can also be good. ‘Warning: Toxic Bleach’ is a good label.” – Chris Traeger
14- “If I had to have anybody tell me that I have cancer, I would want it to be me.” – Chris Traeger
15- “I have thousands of seconds!” – Chris Traeger
16- “Well, I guess your uter-you and my uter-me are now our uter-us.” – Chris Traeger
17- “First stop, Motivation Station!” – Chris Traeger
18- “I don’t entirely understand the behavior of young people. Recently we engaged in something called a group hang. It was like a date but there were seven other people there.” – Chris Traeger
19- “I take care of my body above all else. Diet, exercise, supplements, positive thinking. Scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.” – Chris Traeger
20- “I’m not lonely. I have me!” – Chris Traeger
21- “I have a resting heart rate of 23 beats per minute. The scientists who study me say my heart can pump jet fuel up into an airplane.” – Chris Traeger
22- “I guess I’ll have to wait for tomorrow’s paper to find out our relationship status.” – Chris Traeger
23- “I am 100 percent sure I am 0 percent sure of what to do.” – Chris Traeger
24- “My body is finely tuned, like a microchip, and the flu is like a grain of sand. It could literally shut down the entire system.” – Chris Traeger
25- “Goodbye, Ann Perkins, my faithful employee. Hello, Ann Perkins, my fallopian princess.” – Chris Traeger
