Discover 59 of the best and most memorable quotes from April Ludgate, a beloved character from the hit TV show “Parks and Recreation.” From sarcastic remarks to hilarious one-liners, these quotes showcase April’s unique wit and humor. Dive into the world of “Parks and Rec” and relive the iconic moments with April Ludgate through this collection of quotes.
April Ludgate Quotes
1- “Alcohol is fun and delicious.” – April Ludgate
2- “I’ll just forge it. I forge government documents all the time.” – April Ludgate
3- “Being nice made me feel terrible.” – April Ludgate
4- “The only things I like are dogs, sleeping late, and weird birthmarks. You can’t make museums about those.” – April Ludgate
5- “I wanted to make fun of stupid people while getting drunk. My two true passions.” – April Ludgate
6- “I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.” – April Ludgate
7- “You don’t add up.” – April Ludgate
8- “I’m going to tell you a secret about everyone else’s job: no one knows what they’re doing. Deep down everyone is just faking it until they figure it out. And you will too, because you are awesome and everyone else sucks.” – April Ludgate
9- “Don’t try to bond with me.” – April Ludgate
10- “I hate talking to people about things.” – April Ludgate
11- “Because I really don’t care what happens to them.” – April Ludgate
12- “My instinct is to be mean to you.” – April Ludgate
13- “I guess I kind of hate most things, but I never really seem to hate you.” – April Ludgate
14- “I found a dead rabbit on the side of the road and I cut its feet off and made it into a lucky charm.” – April Ludgate
15- “The air is too fresh. It’s disgusting. I can’t breathe. There’s a brook somewhere that won’t stop babbling. Shut up!” – April Ludgate
16- “She’s the cold, distant mother I never had… I love her.” – April Ludgate
17- “Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge.” – April Ludgate
18- “I really only listen to like, German death reggae. And Halloween sound effect records from the s. And Bette Middler, obviously.” – April Ludgate
19- “(Dogs) should be rewarded for not being people. I hate people.” – April Ludgate
20- “Hello, I’m April Ludgate. I’m 20-years-old. I like people… places… and things.” – April Ludgate
21- “So, you’ve gone insane! That’s fun.” – April Ludgate
22- “At least I didn’t make any new friendships.” – April Ludgate
23- “Beauty pageants are idiotic. But I found out that the winner of the Miss Pawnee pageant gets $600. I can be idiotic for $600.” – April Ludgate
24- “Is this gonna be one of those cool bachelorette parties where things get out of control and we murder someone, and then we all have to take a blood oath to never reveal our secret?” – April Ludgate
25- “Ann’s leaving town, and saying painful goodbyes to loved ones. Greatest day of my life!” – April Ludgate
26- “Being a responsible adult sucks butts.” – April Ludgate
27- “Stay back, slut.” – April Ludgate
28- “The air is so fresh. It’s disgusting.” – April Ludgate
29- “I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same, and if you spend more than $5 on wine, you are very stupid.” – April Ludgate
30- “Yes, I am very powerful and feared by many.” – April Ludgate
31- “I will be providing my world famous $100 lap dances.” – April Ludgate
32- “I love games that turn people against each other.” – April Ludgate
33- “I’m just gonna live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross.” – April Ludgate
34- “I’m going to murder you a thousand times.” – April Ludgate
35- “Leslie said it was a ‘come as you were in the 90s’ party. I assumed it was the 1690s.” – April Ludgate
36- “Horizons are dumb. Never broaden your horizons.” – April Ludgate
37- “I just fell backwards into your world, a couple years went by, and now here I am.” – April Ludgate
38- “I don’t care about that prize, but I’m gonna win because I want his happiness to go away.” – April Ludgate
39- “Can you Photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry?” – April Ludgate
40- “Yeah. I’m trying to find a way to be annoyed by it, but I’m coming up empty.” – April Ludgate
41- “She’s the worst person I’ve ever met. I want to travel the world with her.” – April Ludgate
42- “I wasn’t listening to anything you just said.” – April Ludgate
43- “But then I remembered, alcohol existed.” – April Ludgate
44- “This is my boyfriend, Derek. This is Derek’s boyfriend, Ben.” – April Ludgate
45- “I want to make out with him and chew his eyebrows off.” – April Ludgate
46- “I don’t even want to be here. The air is to fresh. I can’t breathe.” – April Ludgate
47- “I declare that everything you are saying is stupid.” – April Ludgate
48- “What? I love garbage.” – April Ludgate
49- “It’s not mean if he doesn’t know about it, it’s like talking about people behind their backs. Everyone wins!” – April Ludgate
50- “That’s gross. I love it.” – April Ludgate
51- “Hey, Ann, are you still a nurse or did they fire you because you slept with all the doctors?” – April Ludgate
52- “Thank you, alcohol.” – April Ludgate
53- “I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree with Ann.” – April Ludgate
54- “I very maturely and straightforwardly left anonymous comments about her online.” – April Ludgate
55- “I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I’m lying.” – April Ludgate
56- “I can convince small children that I’m a witch.” – April Ludgate
57- “I want to tell people what to do, then send them far away from me.” – April Ludgate
58- “I was buried in it.” – April Ludgate
59- “It’s because I’m half wolf.” – April Ludgate
