We listed best Laurie Keller Quotes from Cougar Town
1- “If I really like a guy I’ll stop texting while I do him.” – Laurie Keller
2- “She’s hot for a frigid, beastly, elderly woman.” – Laurie Keller
3- “Hey Grayson, if you were at a BBQ playing drinking games with your buds would you chug a girls beer and hug her sweetly from behind without trying to cop a feel if you weren’t in love with her?” – Laurine Keller
4- “You think I have big lips? That’s really sweet.” – Laurie Keller
5- “Oh hell no! Smith you are a dead man.” – Laurie Keller
6- “When I want to end it with a guy, I sleep with his best friend… or brother. Brothers are good because if the guy was hot, chances are the brother is too. Best friends are a crap shoot.” – Laurie Keller
7- “I can be friends with my ex.” – Laurie Keller
8- “That’s a nice top, but I couldn’t wear it because of these puppies.” – Laurie Keller
9- “Jules, I can say you look beautiful, because you’re the only one I’m nice to.” – Laurie Keller
10- “If Matt Damon weren’t married and if he weren’t a movie star and if he lived this town, we would totally date.” – Laurine Keller
11- “You said you’d be mean, but that cut like a knife.” – Laurie Keller
12- “I saw an elephant pray in the circus once.” – Laurie Keller
13- “I’m going to beat the optimism out of that man.” – Laurie Keller
14- “Yeah, that’s because it’s not sex to moan, “oh this is okay.”” – Laurie Keller
15- “Could you imagine if we ever dated. It would be like dropping a bomb on a forest fire.” – Laurie Keller
16- “I’m still young enough that I can totally change who I am.” – Laurie Keller
17- “Do you know who else mates for life? Termites.” – Laurie Keller
18- “Women do love when men fight for them. There is nothing less sexy than a man that respects a restraining order.” – Laurie Keller
19- “You broke Bobby, you fix him. And I’m borrowing this. It’s cute.” – Laurie Keller
20- “I always hold eye contact with people, it totally freaks out my gyno.” – Laurie Keller
21- “I love me some beef and bubbles. Oh! That should be our secret detective names.” – Laurie Keller
22- “As my uncle dad always told me, check yourself, before you wreck yourself.” – Laurine Keller
23- “Find me a gay who doesn’t like cake!” – Laurine Keller
24- “That’s how it started for my Uncle Max – then he bought some wigs and changed his name to Maxine, but you know what is really funny? He still goes by Max.” – Laurine Keller
25- “Tell her I’ll get like, jury duty drunk.” – Laurine Keller
26- “I have a rule that every kiss should last three seconds – it’s what the Obama’s do.” – Laurine Keller
27- “Yes, because ass worship is contagious.” – Laurine Keller
28- “It’s not my fault that I am allergic to latex and birth control pills.” – Laurine Keller
29- “I am pissed that they just played a Miley Cyrus song and everyone knew the lyrics!” – Laurine Keller
30- “I feel like people respect my ideas more when they think they came out of magazines.” – Laurine Keller
31- “I went to a crap school in a crap neighborhood and reading really got me out.” – Laurine Keller
32- “Holy big hat, I love it – hides so much of your face.” – Laurine Keller
33- “I heard she kicked your ass. Must sting to lose to Oldielocks.” – Laurine Keller
34- “His smile lights up the world.” – Laurine Keller
35- “The answer was Grandma Moses. You should have gotten that Ellie; weren’t the two of you sorority sisters?” – Laurine Keller
36- “Drinking games! I love drinking games!” – Laurine Keller
37- “Wrong Balls is trending on Twitter. It’s above Bieber.” – Laurine Keller
38- “I’m in love and it’s the real deal, like keep the baby type of love. I even breathe his name. See Smith…” – Laurine Keller
39- “Never judge a book by its front parts.” – Laurine Keller
40- “Grayson, you’re right. it’s time to eat the sword.” – Laurine Keller
41- “I used to watch Jeopardy! everyday because I had a major lady rod for Alex Trebek. Till I found out he was Canadian. Gross.” – Laurine Keller
42- “If someone was up on my man like that. I would lace up my ass kicking boots.” – Laurine Keller
43- “I don’t know exactly what your race is, but I am into it in a big way.” – Laurine Keller
44- “I’m gonna say something now that Meredith Baxter Birney has said in every TV movie I have ever seen: “I…will not give up on that boy.”” – Laurine Keller
45- “No one who says “coolie” is cool. That’s why Coolio is named Coolio.” – Laurine Keller
46- “I’m gonna have to throw my “too creepy” flag!” – Laurine Keller
47- “Stupid Canadian kids and their holes!” – Laurine Keller
48- “Hey bro, there is no music in the world that will match what your body is doing.” – Laurine Keller
49- “That sounds like a great name for a gay bar.” – Laurine Keller
50- “I almost barfed. Luckily I can control my gag reflex.” – Laurine Keller
51- “Since you recently found out you’re a dad, I baked you a congrats on your baby-that-you-had-with-a-drunk-that-picked-up-at-your-bar-before-you-started-dating-Jules cake!” – Laurine Keller
52- “I’m gonna leave before I stab a bitch.” – Laurine Keller
53- “Don’t look a gift whore in the mouth.” – Laurine Keller
54- “I am now the official baker of the Latin Kings. Lil’ Choke is gonna be so excited he gets stomped in this week.” – Laurine Keller
55- “There’s a fun game – “Things Ellie Would Never Say.”” – Laurine Keller
56- “Uh, I think I sweated off my birth control patch.” – Laurine Keller
57- “You’re dressing like a lady who would do stuff for just a little bit of crack.” – Laurine Keller
58- “Don’t bum out Jules, not everyone is blessed with our God given lack of judgment.” – Laurine Keller
59- “No one’s ever made me a stalker video that I didn’t have to see in a courtroom first. I love it.” – Laurine Keller
60- “Even I’m uncomfortable, and I once had sex in a cemetery. I had “Rita Rogers Loving Wife and Mother” printed on my back for two weeks.” – Laurine Keller
61- “That’s the first time I’ve been called a slut in a bad way.” – Laurine Keller
62- “I haven’t hurt this bad since I had to push my childhood home to a gas station. I would give anything to stop.” – Laurine Keller
63- “Letting you put this green screen in my apartment was one the worst mistakes of my life, and I’ve went out with Dennis Rodman y’all.” – Laurine Keller
64- “We’re even wearing the same unisex cologne. “Both” by Bruce Jenner.” – Laurine Keller
