Explore 71 timeless and hilarious quotes from the legendary comedian Bob Newhart. From classic one-liners to insightful wisdom, this collection is sure to tickle your funny bone and leave you inspired. Discover the wit and humor of Bob Newhart in this laugh-out-loud compilation of quotes that will brighten your day
Bob Newhart Quotes
1- “There’s a lot of cynicism. Let’s really enjoy Christmas, with all that’s going on in the world.” – Bob Newhart
2- “Sometimes you forget you’re famous. You wonder, ‘Why is that person staring at me?'” – Bob Newhart
3- “I didn’t need the elf outfit to play an elf; I could just play an elf.” – Bob Newhart
4- “People have told me, ‘My dad passed on, but I have great memories of watching your shows with him.’ It doesn’t get any better than that.” – Bob Newhart
5- “The best advice I could give someone trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to work to hone your skills.” – Bob Newhart
6- “Without great writing, you’ve got a bunch of actors bumping into each other.” – Bob Newhart
7- “I never had an aversion because I was active in the drama club. If I had that aversion I certainly wouldn’t put myself in the position of being on stage. Of course, in the drama club you’re hiding behind a character.” – Bob Newhart
8- “I know Chuck Lorre personally, and am familiar with his work going back to ‘Roseanne’ and ‘Cybil.'” – Bob Newhart
9- “I don’t know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there’s a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That’s kind of regrettable.” – Bob Newhart
10- “I’m not a classically trained actor. I’m not a product of Stavlovski method or anything like that.” – Bob Newhart
11- “I couldn’t play off people that I don’t personally like.” – Bob Newhart
12- “There isn’t a comedian in the world that hasn’t bombed.” – Bob Newhart
13- “I think there’s a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike.” – Bob Newhart
14- “I can’t remember the last live-action, non-animated Christmas movie.” – Bob Newhart
15- “I kind of do it in my head, then I’ll try pieces of it on stage and if it looks promising, I’ll put it together.” – Bob Newhart
16- “Well, my career choice made a difference because I never would have met my wife, Jenny. I met her through comedian Buddy Hackett. He set us up on a blind date and then we got married.” – Bob Newhart
17- “You do a clean show and it’s over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you’ve enjoyed yourself, and you haven’t had to resort to shock.” – Bob Newhart
18- “You may not think I’m a sex symbol, but I became a father at the age of 48. Now young people think of me as a mini-folk hero because it’s difficult for them to believe a man of my age is sexually active.” – Bob Newhart
19- “I’ve been a very lucky actor.” – Bob Newhart
20- “The only thing I have never done is a Broadway play. I’m not sure I have the discipline necessary to do a Broadway play. I know it holds a fascination for certain actors.” – Bob Newhart
21- “I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack’s timing, but I don’t think you can teach timing. It’s something you hear in your head.” – Bob Newhart
22- “It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don’t work that way. There was a temptation in the early ’70s to reconsider. I decided against it.” – Bob Newhart
23- “I worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn’t what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and decided I was just going to give comedy a try.” – Bob Newhart
24- “This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I’m not about to screw with it now.” – Bob Newhart
25- “When I started out in 1960, I thought it might possibly last a couple of years. I never expected it to last 42. I take great satisfaction in that longevity.” – Bob Newhart
26- “There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I’ll cry.” – Bob Newhart
27- “I really don’t know what makes a comedian. I think it’s a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.” – Bob Newhart
28- “I’m very open to the up-and-comers.” – Bob Newhart
29- “The reason I’m a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to what other people are saying. A psychologist is a man who listens, who is sympathetic.” – Bob Newhart
30- “All I can say about life is, ‘Oh God, enjoy it!'” – Bob Newhart
31- “Television series are like the stock market. There’s room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs.” – Bob Newhart
32- “The giant superstars are people whose talent is so enormous that their death wish can’t destroy it.” – Bob Newhart
33- “A collison is what happens when two motorists go after the same pedestrian.” – Bob Newhart
34- “Don’t be silly and don’t waste your time.” – Bob Newhart
35- “Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn’t afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story.” – Bob Newhart
36- “Every new routine I have ever written and performed probably occurred extemporaneously. Then after you have fleshed it out and tried it out in front of a number of audiences and it works, you put it down on paper.” – Bob Newhart
37- “Women are more emotional. They do get flustered. Which is not to say that men are better than they. It’s simply the way it is.” – Bob Newhart
38- “I think there are still words you can’t use in family entertainment that you can use in a sitcom today.” – Bob Newhart
39- “You never know when you’ll come upon something and it’s going to be fodder for new material.” – Bob Newhart
40- “Well I was much too practical to presume to have a career in comedy.” – Bob Newhart
41- “I feel more comfortable in comedy.” – Bob Newhart
42- “I’ve done more than I thought I was ever going to do. I’ve had a very long and very satisfying career.” – Bob Newhart
43- “When you’re going for a joke, you’re stuck out there if it doesn’t work. There’s nowhere to go. You’ve done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you’re out on the end of the plank.” – Bob Newhart
44- “I’ve been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I’m just another slightly amusing accountant.” – Bob Newhart
45- “I love portraying the totally indifferent person.” – Bob Newhart
46- “All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world.” – Bob Newhart
47- “Sometimes you forget you’re famous. You wonder, Why is that person staring at me?” – Bob Newhart
48- “Humor’s a weapon if you want to make it one.” – Bob Newhart
49- “You shouldn’t get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.” – Bob Newhart
50- “More and more, as I get older, people come up to me and say, ‘Thank you for all the laughter.’ And my standard answer is, ‘It was my pleasure.’ But that’s the truth.” – Bob Newhart
51- “I wasn’t much good. When I went into the line on a fake – I would holler ‘I don’t have it!'” – Bob Newhart
52- “I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down’.” – Bob Newhart
53- “Comedians are never really on vacation because you’re always at attention… that antenna is always out there.” – Bob Newhart
54- “Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.” – Bob Newhart
55- “I’m most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don’t have that, you really don’t have very much.” – Bob Newhart
56- “I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That’s the only way you learn how to do it.” – Bob Newhart
57- “I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.” – Bob Newhart
58- “I think everyone probably starts out sounding like someone else, but gradually you develop your own sound.” – Bob Newhart
59- “I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.” – Bob Newhart
60- “You should have a value system. You can win if you stick with your value system.” – Bob Newhart
61- “I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though youre poking fun at someone or something, theres still an affection for it.” – Bob Newhart
62- “There’s gratification in making somebody laugh. It’s a wonderful sound. I find myself, to this day, doing it, wanting to make people laugh.” – Bob Newhart
63- “But I really believe that if you have the ability, there is an obligation to make people laugh.” – Bob Newhart
64- “Continuing to do stand-up is always a challenge because the audiences and the environments in which you work very often differ.” – Bob Newhart
65- “I don’t want to find the secret. I’m afraid all the joy will go out of it if I find the secret.” – Bob Newhart
66- “I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don’t rush into adulthood, it isn’t all that much fun.” – Bob Newhart
67- “Cell phones have gotten so small, you can’t tell who’s a cell phone user and who’s a schizophrenic.” – Bob Newhart
68- “I am a minimalist. I like saying the most with the least.” – Bob Newhart
69- “The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour.” – Bob Newhart
70- “Don’t ever have two dogs. That way you won’t know which one to blame.” – Bob Newhart
71- “I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.” – Bob Newhart
