Zapp Brannigan is a recurring character in the animated television series “Futurama,” which was created by Matt Groening and David X. Cohen.
Zapp is a pompous, egotistical military officer who is the captain of the starship Nimbus and is part of the Democratic Order of Planets (D.O.O.P). Despite his high rank and self-professed competence, he is often portrayed as inept and clueless, making rash decisions and formulating absurd strategies that endanger his crew and others around him. His character is a parody of bombastic and overconfident military characters from science fiction.
Zapp Brannigan Quotes
1. “I’ll take it. We’ll meet you tonight for part of dinner and the first half of a movie.” -Zapp Brannigan
2. “You win again, gravity!” -Zapp Brannigan
3. “Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.” -Zapp Brannigan
4. “You won’t have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you’ll be doing.” -Zapp Brannigan
5. “Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it.” -Zapp Brannigan
6. “I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan, at your service.” -Zapp Brannigan
7. “She’s built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro!”-Zapp Brannigan
8. “Leela! So it’s you I’ve been attracted to. Oh God, I’ve never been so happy to be beaten up by a woman.”-Zapp Brannigan
9. “Cham-paggin?”-Zapp Brannigan
10. “In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.”-Zapp Brannigan
11. “We know nothing about them, their language, their history, or what they look like. But we can assume this. They stand for everything we don’t stand for. Also, they told me you guys look like dorks.”-Zapp Brannigan
12. “Ah, yes. Comets, the icebergs of the sky.”-Zapp Brannigan
13. “You! Aren’t you getting this? We have detected a vessel attempting to break the security cordon around Vergon 6. I’m anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight, followed by a light dinner ravioli, ham, sundae bar.”-Zapp Brannigan
14. “Then what did we just blow up!?”-Zapp Brannigan
15. “I hate these filthy Neutrals, Kif. With enemies, you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me.”-Zapp Brannigan
16. “Now that’s a wave of destruction that’s easy on the eyes!”-Zapp Brannigan
17. “Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as ‘the brig.’”-Zapp Brannigan
18. “That’s for schoolgirls. Now here’s a course with some chest hair.” -Zapp Brannigan
19. “Kif, I’m feeling the ‘Captain’s itch.’”-Zapp Brannigan
20. “Kif, I’m sensing a very sensual disturbance in the force. Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy.”-Zapp Brannigan
21. “Dammit, Kif! Where’s the little umbrella? That’s what makes it a scotch on the rocks.”-Zapp Brannigan
22. “Leela, you’re obviously confused and aroused.”-Zapp Brannigan
23. “It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: rock crushes scissors, but paper covers rock and scissors cut paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper, and bring me a rock.”-Zapp Brannigan
24. “You look like a woman who enjoys the finer things. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread.”-Zapp Brannigan
25. “The key to victory is the element of surprise. Surprise!” -Zapp Brannigan
26. “We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.” -Zapp Brannigan
27. “My instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish.” -Zapp Brannigan
28. “We both know you won’t make it halfway to Vergon 6 before the craving sets in. Then you’ll come crawling back for another taste of sweet, sweet candy, bam!”-Zapp Brannigan
29. “Well, I have studied abroad or two!”-Zapp Brannigan
30. “Call me cocky, but if there’s an alien out there, I can’t kill. I haven’t met him and killed him yet. But I can’t go in alone. That’s why I’m ordering every available ship to report for duty. Anyone without a ship should secure a weapon and fire wildly into the air.”-Zapp Brannigan
31. “You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down.”-Zapp Brannigan
32. “Welcome to my humble chamber, or as I call it, ‘the Lovenasium.’”-Zapp Brannigan
33. “Brannigan’s Law is like Brannigan’s love; hard and fast!” -Zapp Brannigan
34. “I surrender and volunteer for treason.” -Zapp Brannigan
35. “That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing.”-Zapp Brannigan
36. “Leela, it’s real velour. Just let yourself go.”-Zapp Brannigan
37. “Happy Freedom Day, ladies! Come on, show me something. Anything. Seriously, I’d take an armpit.”-Zapp Brannigan
38. “The way to a woman’s bed is through her parents. Have sex with them, and you’re in.”-Zapp Brannigan
39. “Well, well. We meet again, Leela, only this time, I’m the one judging the sausage.”-Zapp Brannigan
40. “And which one rocked your world?”-Zapp Brannigan
41. “I’m calling to negotiate a double date. You and me, Kif and Amy.”-Zapp Brannigan
42. “Stop exploding, you cowards.”-Zapp Brannigan
43. “I want to slap your sister with a slice of bologna.”-Zapp Brannigan
44. “No, it’s noble of you, Kif. As of now, you’re in command. Congratulations, Captain.”-Zapp Brannigan
45. “We have failed to uphold Brannigan’s Law. However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? Kif, I’m asking you a question.”-Zapp Brannigan
46. “I’ve never heard of such a brutal and shocking injustice that I cared so little about!”-Zapp Brannigan
47. “Your face has been declared a weapon of mass disgusting!”-Zapp Brannigan
48. “One day, a man has everything. Then the next day, he blows up a billion-dollar space station. And then the next day, he has nothing. Makes you think.” -Zapp Brannigan
49. “When I’m in command, every mission is a suicide mission.”-Zapp Brannigan
50. “If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.”-Zapp Brannigan
