What We Do in the Shadows is a hilarious mockumentary-style TV series that follows the lives of four vampire roommates living in Staten Island. The show is filled with unforgettable moments and witty one-liners that have made it a fan favorite. In this article, we’ve compiled a list of 31 iconic quotes from the series that are sure to make you laugh out loud. From Nandor‘s deadpan delivery to Guillermo’s sarcastic remarks, these quotes perfectly capture the absurdity and humor of the show. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or new to the series, these quotes are sure to leave you wanting more.
1- Guillermo : “Vampires love virgins. It’s their favorite food.”
2- Colin : “Am I a morning person? That would be an enthusiastic yes.”
3- Guillermo : “Being a vampire’s familiar is like being a best friend, who, who’s also a slave.”
4- Nadja : “We were so poor we used to used donkey dong for fuel and when the donkey dong ran out, we would have to burn the donkey.”
5- Vladislav: “We’re vampires, we don’t put down towels.”
6- Deacon: “I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool. Vladislav: I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fu*ked it.”
7- Lazlo : “I have recently rediscovered my love for topiary sculpture; the art of bush manipulation”
8- Nandor : “All secret meetings take place in the fancy room”
9- Deacon: “When you are a vampire you become very… , sexy!”
10- Nadja : “Do you remember that first time we made love? It was so passionate, I accidentally cut off your head.”
11- Viago: “Yeah some of our clothes are from victims. You might bite someone and then, you think, ‘Oooh, those are some nice pants!’.”
12- “All secret meetings take place in the fancy room” – nandor
What We Do in the Shadows Season 4 Quotes
13- “Laszlo doesn’t suck! And if he did, he certainly wouldn’t do it backward!” – laszlo
14- “I don’t want these virgins. They are going to taste too sad.” – nadja
15- “It says I am 100 percent white.” – colin robinson
16- “Creepy paper. Creepy paper. Creepy-oh! Multipack!” – nandor
17- “Pablo picasso. More like pablo picasshole.” – nadja
18- “one human alcohol beer, please.” – jim the vampire
19- “A ghost, that’s where we draw the line.” — guillermo
20- “I don’t live to drain; I drain to live.” — colin
21- “no nuns. No nuns, none!” — nadja
22 -“You can’t hypnotize a subject that doesn’t want to do something that you want them to do.” — nandor
23- “Laszlo doesn’t suck. And if he did he certainly wouldn’t do it backwards.” — laszlo
24- “I do know what it feels like to be mocked and teased and to cry myself to sleep at night by the light of a burning donkey.” — nadja
25- “I don’t want these virgins. They are going to taste too sad.” — nadja
What We Do in the Shadows Season 3 and 4 Quotes
“He’s as mad as a wax banana.” —Laszlo
“We drunk the blood of some people, but the people were on drugs, and now I’m a wizard.” —Nandor
These poor women. They take a lovely, handsome chap from the street, make him their husband, and then, in the blinks of an eye, he becomes a big, lazy sack of shit. So sad.” —Nadja
“You are all such strong, beautiful, vicious, vibrant women. How did you all end up married to such boiled potatoes?” —Nadja
“It seems that, uh, government workers are immune to hypnotism. It’s like their souls are dead or something.” —Nandor
How are you supposed to be a strong, thrilling, powerful warrior and love with a name like Jeff? It is like a weak ejaculation! Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Jeff.” —Nadja
