Discover the most hilarious and iconic Fawlty Towers quotes with our curated collection of the best 20. Immerse yourself in the comedic brilliance of Basil Fawlty, his quirky staff, and the unforgettable guests of the beloved British sitcom. From witty one-liners to absurd situations, these quotes will leave you in stitches. Relive the laughter and share these gems with fellow fans of the show. Get ready for a trip down memory lane with the funniest moments from Fawlty Towers.
Fawlty Towers Tv Show Quotes
Basil: “I’m gonna sell you to a vivisectionist!”
Sybil: “Old people are wonderful when they have so much life, aren’t they? Gives us all hope, doesn’t it? My mother on the other hand is a little bit of a trial, really. You know, it’s alright when they have the lifeforce but Mother – well she’s got more of the deathforce really. She’s a worrier. She has these, well, morbid fears they are, really. Vans is one. Rats. Doorknobs. Birds. Heights. Open spaces. Confined spaces. It’s very difficult getting the space right for her really, you know. Footballs. Bicycles. Cows. And she’s always on about men following her, I don’t know what she thinks they’re going to do to her. Vomit on her, Basil says.”
Basil : “Did you ever see that film How To Murder Your Wife?”
Basil Fawlty: “My wife likes Harold Robbins. After a hard day’s slaving under the hairdryer, she needs to unwind with a few aimless thrills.”
Basil: “Listen, don’t mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.”
Basil: “I’ll put an ad in the papers. Wanted, kind home for enormous savage rodent. Answers to the name of Sybil.”
Sybil Fawlty: “Do you really imagine, even in your wildest dreams, that a girl like this could possibly be interested in an aging, Brilliantined, stick-insect like you?”
Manuel: “Mr. Fawlty, I no want to work here anymore.”
Basil : “Well if you don’t like a duck, then you’re rather stuck, hahaha’”
Basil Fawlty: “Manuel will show you to your room – if you’re lucky.”
Basil: “Can’t we get you on Mastermind, Sybil? Next contestant – Sybil Fawlty from Torquay. Special subject – the bleedin’ obvious.”
Basil: “Can’t we get you on Mastermind, Sybil? Next contestant Sybil Fawlty from Torquay, special subject the bleeding obvious.”
Manuel: “I know nothing.”
Basil: “Oh, (you’re) German! I’m sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you.”
Manuel: “No. Que, ‘what’.”
Basil Fawlty: “Don’t be alarmed, it’s only my wife laughing.”
Basil : ‘Hello Fawlty TITTIES…’
Basil: “This is typical. Absolutely typical…of the kind of…arse I have to put up with from you people. You ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot, while I’m trying to run a hotel here. Have you any idea of how much there is to do? Do you ever think of that? Of course not, you’re all too busy sticking your noses into every corner, poking around for things to complain about, aren’t you? Well let me tell you something – this is exactly how Nazi Germany started. A lot of layabouts with nothing better to do than to cause trouble. Well I’ve had fifteen years of pandering to the likes of you, and I’ve had enough. I’ve had it. Come on, pack your bags and get out.”
Basil Fawlty: “You’ll have to forgive him. He’s from Barcelona.”
