Mark Corrigan, the iconic character from the British sitcom “Peep Show,” is known for his witty, cynical, and often awkward remarks that have endeared him to fans worldwide. Whether he’s sharing his thoughts on life, relationships, or the absurdity of modern living, Mark’s quotes never fail to elicit laughter and introspection.
Mark Corrigan Quotes
1- “It’d be like picking off bystanders with a sniper rifle: fun at first, but it would quickly become a depressing chore.” – Mark Corrigan
2- “Dobby mustn’t see Gerrard. He’s gone over the edge of reason. Get rid of him!” – Mark Corrigan
3- “Oh, sure. Climb up it, using your strength.” – Mark Corrigan
4- “Oh God, I can’t believe I’m having a party!” – Mark Corrigan

5- “Good Will to all men!” – Mark Corrigan
6- “Ah great the big triple, uninterested, unavailable and repulsed.” – Mark Corrigan
7- “I need to get Gerrard incredibly fucked. Booze, drugs, whatever.” – Mark Corrigan
8- “Isn’t it just the usual dead eyed men fucking dead eyed women in a desperate world of pain?” – Mark Corrigan
9- “He actually thinks he has suave spermatazoa. He characterises his sperms!” – Mark Corrigan
10- “Well, got Dobbie, but there goes the Nazi gold, back in the vault with all the Rembrandt’s'” – Mark Corrigan
11- “I don’t think I wiped off that porn you recommended.” – Mark Corrigan

12- “They’ve screwed me, they’ve diddled you at best.” – Mark Corrigan
13- “It means you’ve betrayed me, it’s the New Testament. You cock!” – Mark Corrigan
14- “I thought I might do a skit with Dobbie.” – Mark Corrigan
15- “Shove that up your bollocks!” – Mark Corrigan
16- “I’m Russell Brand, and he’s lovely Andrew Sachs.” – Mark Corrigan
17- “I’m becoming the Fuhrer – the Fuhrer of Laughs!” – Mark Corrigan
18- “The one is giving me the finger and driving away. There’s the familar gut punch of Pain and Loneliness. Hello, old friend.” – Mark Corrigan
19- “War is never a picnic. Although obviously soldiers do end up eating outdoors a lot.” – Mark Corrigan
20- “Sperm is like lending someone less than a fiver. You can’t really ask for it back.” – Mark Corrigan
21- “This is a fantastic evening. I’ve become a military historian and Jeremy’s future happiness rests in my hands…And I’ve got a tiramisu. This is fucking amazing!” – Mark Corrigan

22- “I’m just another reject slowly slipping out of the gene pool to get hoovered up by the sex industry.” – Mark Corrigan
23- “It’s Paddy Ashdown.It’s Indiana Jones.It’s Indiana Ashdown.” – Mark Corrigan
24- “Ugh no… Heartbreak Tuna! No, just bin it. But not literally – no need to be dramatic. Freeze it. See how I feel in six months.” – Mark Corrigan
25- “Where do I sit… This must be what it’s like being a nonce in prison.” – Mark Corrigan
26- “This is piggin’ massive!” – Mark Corrigan
27- “I just wondered if you fancied coming down with me to the Fuckbunker.” – Mark Corrigan
28- “Piggin’ Tea Break. Cup of piggin’ tea and work out my piggin’ campaign strategy.” – Mark Corrigan

29- “So unhappy. I wonder if anyone has ever been this unhappy while drinking champagne.” – Mark Corrigan
30- “Well, I suppose I should apologize for not letting you go and get her.” – Mark Corrigan
31- “Fucking hell! He’s got Mummy! He’s brought a dead dog into my pitch, the stupid bastard!” – Mark Corrigan
32- “I don’t want sweet punani action; I want to take your bishop and grind you down!” – Mark Corrigan
33- “I can’t believe it. He’s actually thrown me to the lions.” – Mark Corrigan
34- “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. And even if it is broke, just ignore it and maybe it’ll be sort of OK. Like the environment.” – Mark Corrigan
35- “Right, here I go. Palms dry. Mouth dry. Inter-buttock area moist.” – Mark Corrigan

36- “Suppose I can always roll Gerrard out for the sympathy vote. He’s my dark secret… my elephant man.” – Mark Corrigan
37- “I’m about to walk into a boardroom gang bang and get fucked by the biggest swinging dicks in corporate strategy.” – Mark Corrigan
38- “At least he doesn’t know about my emergency Twix.” – Mark Corrigan