33 Significant Frank Zappa Quotes

You can’t always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a eyebrows

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced

You can’t always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. 

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library

Rock is to dress up to.

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird. 

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.

Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.

Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.

The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.

You can’t always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream

Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.

Music is the only religion  that delivers the goods. 

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.

No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to.

There are only two things to remember. Number one…Don’t Stop, and number two…Keep Going!

Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Most rock journalism is people who can’t write, interviewing people who can’t talk, for people who can’t read. 

Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the test, usually find it to be an ‘inconvenience.’ We have opted instead for an authoritarian system disguised as a Democracy. We pay through the nose for an enormous joke-of-a-government, let it push us around, and then wonder how all those assholes got in there.

Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be.

I would say that today, dishonesty is the rule, and honesty the exception. It could be, statistically, that more people are honest than dishonest, but the few that really control things are not honest, and that tips the balance.

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we’d all love one another.

One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people’s minds.

Most people wouldn’t know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.

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  1. I heard a line attributed to Frank;
    ” . . . and there’s hamburger all over the highway in Mystic Connecticut”
    Supposedly at the end of a concert in New Haven.

    Any idea if it’s true?

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