It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes: “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” is a popular American sitcom that first aired on FX on August 4, 2005. As of my knowledge cutoff in September 2021, it’s one of the longest-running live-action comedy series in American television history.
The show was created by Rob McElhenney, who also stars in it along with Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Kaitlin Olson, and Danny DeVito. The series follows a group of friends—known as “The Gang”—who run an unsuccessful Irish bar, Paddy’s Pub, in South Philadelphia.
The Gang consists of:
- Mac (Rob McElhenney), who is often the instigator of the group’s ill-conceived plans.
- Charlie (Charlie Day), the group’s eccentric and often naive member, who works as the pub’s janitor.
- Dennis (Glenn Howerton), who is vain, selfish, and often manipulative.
- Dee (Kaitlin Olson), Dennis’s twin sister, who often seeks the approval of the rest of the gang but is usually the butt of their jokes.
- Frank (Danny DeVito), who is Dennis and Dee’s legal father and who often engages in shady business practices.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes
1- What is this word, spa? I feel like you’re starting to a say a word and you’re not finishing it. Are you trying to say spaghetti? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day? -Charlie
2- Fat Mac :“I’m not fat. I’m cultivating mass.”
3- Dee :“I will eat your babies, b*tch.”
4- Donna: “You’re thirty-three years old, you’re supposed to be sexually active! You’re not supposed to be fondling your uncle under the table!”
5- Charlie : “Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land.”
6- Frank Reynolds : “If life hands you lemons you can gotta cram ’em down some punk’s throat til he sees yellow.”
7- I’m gonna pinch their dicks with this lobster. -Frank
8- Frank : Dennis, if I was looking for safe, I wouldn’t be sticking my dick through a wall.
9- Well, I don’t know how many years on this Earth I got left. I’m gonna get real weird with it. –Frank
10– “You’re a master of karate and friendship for everyone.” — Charlie and Dennis
11- “If you’re not well educated or informed you start your own party and yell the loudest.” Charlie Kelly
12- “Well, that’s gonna be a problem; I laser. It’s like a turtle’s shell down there. “-Dennis
13- “This is America: you’re either the duper or the dupee. You guys are the dupee.”—Frank Reynolds
14- “What are you gonna do, hit him? No, that’s a terrible idea, I’ll tell you why: it doesn’t unbang your mom. ” Charlie
15– “I eat stickers all the time, dude.” — Charlie
16- Okay, well, “Charlie work” is like, you know, like basement stuff, cleaning urinals, uh, blood stuff, your basic slimes, your sludges, anything dead or decaying. You know, I’m on it. I’m dealing with it. –Charlie
17- I mean, does my scar look like a dog’s vagina? You know, maybe. I don’t know. I’m not gonna sit here and try and get inside the mind of a dog. I mean, that’s God’s work. Well, not that I believe in God. I don’t. Not since that Chinaman stole my kidney. –Rickety Cricket
18- Okay, listen. Listen, you remember that night at Dooley’s pool party? On that fine summer eve, when I did that double jackknife twist and blew everybody’s tits off. You remember that? And then I went down on Chrissy Orlando on the trampoline later that night? –Dennis
19- “My friend Dennis says to never let anyone’s resistance stop you from getting what you want.”—Mac
20- I’m just saying, based on that story that you just told me, I’m fairly certain that those Santas were running a train on your mom for money. –Mac
21- I got my Magnum condoms; I got my wad of hundreds. I’m ready to plow. –Frank
22- Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese. –Dennis
23- Dude, I swear to God, if you try and give me a noogie, I will yank your underwear over your head so hard your asshole will rip in half. –Dennis
24- “I hate listening to people’s dreams. It’s like flipping through a stack of old photographs. If I’m not in any of ’em and nobody’s having sex, I just don’t care.” — Dennis
25- Mac, I’m gonna stop you right there. First of all, your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion. Secondly, I know you’re trying to manipulate me, and it’s not going to work. Get your hand off my shoulder, because I’ve got a fatty to burn. -Sweet Dee
26- “I will SMASH your face into a- into a jelly!” –Charlie
27 – “I don’t know how many years on this Earth I got left. I’m gonna get real weird with it.” — Frank
28- Smoke some cigarettes. The smoke will suffocate the bacteria in your stomach. –Mac
29- Mac, you have an exceptional number of bugs in your teeth. You’re gonna wanna rinse those out. It’s disgusting. –Dennis
30- Animals should be food, rugs and trophies. Why do you think I’m wearing a leather suit? –Frank
31 – If you’re in my room, you’re always being filmed. –Dennis
32- Cat in the wall, eh?! Okay, now you’re talking my language. –Charlie
33- Dennis : I shoulda popped my shirt off. Goddammit, really shoulda popped that shirt off.
34- Sweet Dee : “See you later, Dirt Grub and Ronnie the Rat. Hope you suck each other’s rotten peckers until you get mouth cancer”
35- Mac: “Everybody’s dying, bitch”
36- Frank : “I got my Magnum condoms; I got my wad of hundreds. I’m ready to plow”
37- Mac : “See, I’ve always got an A, B and C strike plan to get us out of any potentially life-threatening situation.”
38- Frank : “I’m not gonna be buried in a grave. When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash”
39- Dennis : “Who am I supposed to vote for? Am I supposed to vote for the Democrat who’s gonna blast me in the ass or the Republican who’s blasting my ass?”
40- Mac: “Bite my bird”
41- Mac: “Fight Milk! The first alcoholic dairy based protein drink for bodyguards!”
42- Sweet Dee : “We’re gonna get all in your face and point out your faults”
43- Sweet Dee : “Bruce is not banging any baby dudes! “
44- Mac: “It involves pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple of asses and doing a little plowing of our own. Pow!…Not gay sex.”
45- Frank : “Roxy, God bless you. You were a good whore. You serviced me like no other whore ever did. Not only my crank, but my heart. And…I’m gonna miss ya. Amen”
46- Mac : They’re actors. They’re trying to create an illusion. In the “Lord of the Rings” movie, Ian McKellen plays a wizard. You think he goes home at night and shoots laser beams into his boyfriend’s asshole? I don’t think so, dude. Tom Cruise is a midget, alright,but he plays guys that are normal size in movies
47- Charlie : Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies?
48- Frank : “I’m gonna pinch their dicks with this lobster.”
49- Mac : “Do not plug an open wound with trash”
50- Mac: Isn’t that amazing? You ask to see a woman’s breasts on the street, you get slapped. You give her a free t-shirt and videotape it, and the clothes come right off
51- Frank : “The acid’s makin’ me feel like I gotta take a dump”
52- Mac : “Grain alcohol, baby! Whenever there’s a potential riot, I’m getting blasted on grain alcohol.”
53- Charlie : “Here’s a confession: I’m in love with a man. What? I’m in love with a man. A man called God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha!”
54- Frank : “Animals should be food, rugs and trophies. Why do you think I’m wearing a leather suit?”
55- Dennis : You’re a stone cold fox, Margaret. You’re a stone cold fox, and I want you. I gotta have you. I need you. I want you inside me. But you know that, don’t you, Margaret?
